The Occasional Rant -... and you know why they call it the "Chronically Horrid"!

Now read this.

Last night, I told you that Hali's Ellen Page has taken home the Golden Popcorn for her portrayal of a pregnant teen in "Juno".

After experiencing serious pwnage by Marion Cotillard at the Golden Globes and the Oscars earlier this year, Ellen, in her own understated way, thanked the peeps that created the surreal comedic drama. Now that was a class act.

Now you would think that everyone in the Halifax Regional Municipality, from Musquodobit Harbour to Peggy's Cove and beyonder, would big-up the young, native Bluenoser for pwning bigger, more notorious starlets such as Jessica Biel ("I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry"), Katherine Heigl ("Knocked Up"), Amy Adams ("Enchanted") and Keira Knightley ("Pirates of the Caribbean") - who, with all due respect, each deserve a Popcorn for their troubles.

But, as of now, so-far, not much peepage from the media.

Now it's true that many people are getting bored of the smarmy ass-kiss atmosphere present in all award shows. But when one of our own shows up as a nominee, we get "googoo gaga" retarded. And right about now, one news outlet has the opportunity of saying in large print, "ELLEN HAS POPCORN!"

As of right now, the Chronicle Herald is the only paper in Halifax to do that.

In fact, it is the only paper in Halifax. Period.

To be fair, there are two other tabloids on the scene. The Metro was born out of the ashes of the late, lamented Daily News. The Coast offers an independent (read: "progressive") take on local-to-global issues. But neither of them could match the juggernaut that is one of North America's oldest dailies.

So why did the CH drop the ball when Ellen won?

It's one thing to respect your neighbour's privacy - Ellen is our neighbour, after all - but a least one passing acknowledgment should be in order.

Forget the fact that there's more on the go in Ms. Page's life and career. Forget the all the lesbian rumours. Even forget the fact that for many people, Ellen will still be known best as Treena Lahey, Hayley Stark or even little Maggie MacLean in the Canadian family series "Pit Pony".

What's really important is that Ellen gets some props from the only paper in town. And that paper ain't even saying a tiny "boo".

Oh well. Life goes on, even if it's depicted by the Chronically Horrid.

Next...

A shot of Jacques: GO CANADA!

Ellen Page won best female performance at the 2008 MTV Movie Awards.

And thank Satan that Marion Cotillard wasn't ever nominated for that!

She looked pretty floored.

And she didn't have to wear any hideous pumps to aggravate the event.

So there you go, eh?

The Occasional Rant - Jeff Healy / I stand corrected on Ellen Page / A tale of 2 Steve-O's

My work sucked donkeys Monday night.

Maybe because it was the first Monday of the month, where the mundane became weird and the weird became completely obnoxious.

If I had a dollar for every single company store cock-up, I wouldn't be blogging: I'd be banking, partying and sit around in South Beach sipping vodka sours and watching the thongs pass by.

The suck-ass weather didn't help matters much either. My sinuses went Jihadi and forced me to knock back the last sinus care caplet with my morning tea.

It was one of the worst of times to be on my best behaviour. And even that it getting tested beyond its breaking point.

Enough of my life. Here we go...

1. Angel eyes on Jeff. Back in the day, Jeff Healy could rock the blues and funk the jazz out of his Strat. Like the other Jeff (Jeff Beck), he could bend the fuck out of his notes while the single coils transmit the sonic fire to the masses.
   Most of all, Jeff Healy was a gentleman, a Mensch, a sonic entrepreneur who parleyed his talents to different avenues such as his own hot jazz/blues club in the T-dot.
   But, for those who know better, Jeff was a fighter and a survivor. The cancer that stole his eyes didn't steal his love of music, nor did it still the hands that wrenched it out of any Fender that was lying around at any time.
   Last Sunday night, Jeff went down fighting.
   Charlie was too tenacious, too fast, too ingrained.
   Charlie didn't care who he took. Be it man, woman, child, Charlie was a glutton for flesh, tissue, organs and cells.
   But Charlie can never take souls. He failed to still Jeff's hunger for the perfect sound and stifle his dream of doing good for the love of music.
   Love. Music. Life. The God-blessed trinity that keep me alive fueled Jeff's life, right to the end.
   Our existence on this planet is always transient, yet the works and legacies that we create will outlive us for better, for worse, and for those willing to follow in our steps.
   Jeff was but one of many. Yet, at 41, he had lived and loved more than people twice his age, if only because his life, like ours, was transient.
   For me, 41 is too damn young. My sister's 41. I was once 41. And yet we all felt that there was more work to be done, more sights to see, more mountains to climb.
   We'll see you on the other side, Jeff Healy.
   My condolences, love and respect to those who loved him.
   
   
2. Gauging Page again. I swear that this will be the last time I take Ellen Page's name in vain again.
   A few posts ago, I've mentioned that Ellen may be this generation's Molly Ringwald.
   Then, while I was at work, something really hit me.
   Ellen is not- repeat, not - Molly.
   She's our Christina Ricci.
   Or maybe Winona Ryder.
   In fact, after watching "Juno" and "Hard Candy", I believe that Ellen has the versatility possessed by these 2 stars.
   Having said that, I should just go and get a life instead.
   Ellen is simply... Ellen. And I'll leave it at that.
   
   
3. A tale of 2 Steve-O's. As I'm getting next to comatose, I'll keep these 2 items short.
   a) Steve-O busted.
   b) Steve-O busted.
   Discuss amongst yourselves. Which one is more Jackass than the other?
   Can you see the difference?
   Maybe it's because one of them beat up something while the other one is getting beaten up from all sides.
   Who will survive? Stay tuned.
   

And so, there you go.

JacqueSnack - If J-Roc had a sister...

she'd probably be like this.

Snapshot: Page still pwns our hearts!

The lady who played la Môme Piaf pwned the Golden doorstop for best actress.

I was expecting Julie Christie, but Marion Cotillard looked nice.

Thank goodness I've quit betting a long time ago... the race is tighter than a dead miser's fist.

As for Ellen... keep on trucking and you'll be pwning, Kid.

The Occasional Rant - No Sleep! / Page Centre Stage / iPhone: the Prepaid Conundrum

And so here we go...

1. I'll sleep when I'm dead! I always have this thing about days when I don't have to go to work.
   
   I've made it a point to take advantage of the sunlight to do stuff, like making entries like this.
   
   The problem is, my body could only take so much abuse that as much as I want to get on to a second, third or fourth wind, my wee brain starts thinking otherwise.
   
   This usually happens when I work the graveyard or late evening shifts. After work there would be a lengthy period of decompression where I would gather my thoughts and make plans for the next day. This goes everything against all that I've learned in my 12-step programs.
   
   The more I worry, the more I do junk, then...
   
   zzzzzzz...
   
   
2. HEADS! The Wooden Monkey on Argyle might be getting more than a few more customers after tonight.
   Not all people running around with cameras will be tourists.
   And someone might wind up lurking area high schools for the next big thing.
   Ellen Page's star is rising fast. Faster than a Victoria-class sub in an emergency, faster than an old-school ICBM.
   On a personal level, the Monkey is a very nice place. Most of the dishes are natural, organic and locally produced. Last time I was there they had the veggie gyoza and this tofu cheesecake that is to kill for. What the hell is going to happen to the place when the stalkerazzi descend on Halifax like famished locusts?
   And I feel for some of the students at the schools Ellen attended. I fear that some goon from Access Hollywood or Extra will push for some dirt on the kid from people who may have had the slightest passing acquaintance.
   If Ellen were to win the Oscar, one can bet that there will be expectations galore. Expectations for bigger, more demanding roles. If she could take the heat, all the power to her and everything else. But people worry about what might happen if/when the hype hits the fan. And Hollywood, being a town of jaded elders, eats its young like candy.
   Thankfully, Ellen seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and she should keep it if the heat turns up.
   I still think that Julie Christie or Marion Cotillard will pwn the paperweight. I'll find out tonight.
   
   
3. iPhone - not a goddamn toy. For those people stateside who are hungering for Apple's latest gift to humankind, a word of advice.
   Don't try to aim for prepaid service.
   Especially if you have good credit.
   First, prepaid is more expensive than a contract service. You are actually paying more green for less service than you think. The lowest contract price actually offers you more than the lowest prepaid price (monthly prepaid plan rate + 19.99/month for data). Check that one out. Plus you get to do some roaming with a contract. Prepaid customers don't have that privilege. Sorry, boss.
   Secondly, and most importantly, you're getting the same damn service, security and responsibility as contract people.
   If you know that your credit is royally fubar, iTunes would let you know, then give you a choice of going to the nearest AT&T store or going prepaid. It's that simple.
   If I were you, I'd think before I run.
   The saddest thing is that living in Canada, I couldn't get my greasy palms on those babies, yet. Sigh.
   

And so, there you go. Lotsa luck, Ellen.

The Occasional Rant - Belated Happy 21, Treena Lahey!

Back from work. Tired and half-inspired. Here goes...

Belated Happy 21 to Ellen Page.

There's nothing too special about this lady Scotian
But in her craft she emits emotions
Like an alchemist conjuring strange arcane potions
Or Sheherezade working ever faster
To please an ever demanding master

But as I get ready to go to bed
After everything has been said and done
It doesn't matter what you've lost or won
From one jaded expat Torontonian
I salute thee, dear Ellen, thou lady Scotian.

I know it's kinda sucky and hokey. But I had a long day. And the next 2 days won't be any shorter.

At least my heart's in the right place.

And so, there you go.