Monday, December 27, 2004

From (somewhat) sunny Boca Raton, FL...

I wish you all a very Happy Holi-DRAY season, and all the best for 2005.

Not only that, but for all you kids left behind in the deep freeze of the Great Canadian Winter of 2004-2005, I sincerely wish that you were all here. Seriously. Like... I really mean it, man!

Actually... I had to endure 26-hours+ on the road between Halifax and Toronto, not counting the 3 hours on a snow-and-ice clogged portion of the 401 outside of Scarb-eristan, interrogation by homeland security about my intents in FL, and a slightly cramped flight to FLL.

And what do I get for my trouble: relatively crap weather. But at least it ain't snowing.

I'll be back in T-dot 5 Jan 2005... back in Halifax on 9 Jan 2005. For the time being, don't expect too much rantage from me, since access to a computer is at a serious slim premium. In fact, I'm posting this on an Apple notebook at the Apple Store at Town Center Mall in Boca. Not a bad piece of machinery, this PowerBook G4 with an AirPort Extreme interface, even though I consider Apple products to be nothing more than glorified toys, but that's my opinion.

Anyways... until I come up with something interesting, keep a clean body, a dirty mind, stay tuned and have fun.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Dumb fuck: see YOUNG BUCK

Last month's Vibe Awards was intended to be a celebration of urban hip-hop cultcha.

But, given the genre's reputation for pissy, petty infightin' and frontin', the celebration became a confrontation when some muthafucka tried to bust a move on Dr. Dre's face when he received a lifetime achievement award.

The result was hot heads frontin' and shit. And you know what happens when muthafuckas start frontin'... they start bitch-slappin' each other.

Which led to this bum note by G-Unit home Young Buck:

The rapper, whose given name is David Darnell Brown, was accused in a complaint of stabbing Jimmy James Johnson in retaliation after Johnson allegedly punched Brown's mentor, Dr. Dre, during the taping of the show Nov. 15.

Now, why did that bitch-ass sucka tried to put the smackdown on Dre? Some people say that Suge Knight had it in big-time for the Dr. and that he probably hire some goon to give him some upside-the-head action to make an example.

As I've said before, the genre is infamous for petty infighting. And David's actions doesn't make things any better.

Fuck what the Source said about hip-hop being ruined by Eminem... the immature antics of some of the performers - and thank God that they're all so few and far in between - make the genre no more than an urban "minstrel show", with all the ghetto booty thrown in for good measure. Almost every hip-hop video shown on MTV. Much and BET feature the same tired shit of ghetto boasting, Blaxploitation fantasies and of course, ghetto booty.

And it's a shame that ather artists like Black-Eyed Peas, KRS-One, Public Enemy and K-os are being shunted aside in favour of the more "telegenic" "Gangsta" rappers. Talk about style smacking-down substance. And you thought that Eminem was a factor - remember 3rd Bass, House of Pain or even Cypress Hill? And these ain't no garden variety whiggas either - they held their own by doing what they did best: rhyming to the beat and keeping the groove.

I think it was Chuck D. from Public Enemy who claimed that rap was the Black Man's CNN (I may be wrong but this is my blog, muthafucka...), but I digress - beat poetry, blues, early r'n'b transmitted the same social and political concepts way before someone started messing up the turntables. Sadly, hip-hop is becoming more Springer than Larry King. And that's a shame.

If only the playas would just grow the fuck up and stick to the music.

Who'll be the new Husker Du?

Husker Du - the name evokes mystery, mythology and head-scratchings followed by the occasional "Hmmm" upon listening to the Minnesota trio's body of work.

Nowadays, the band is no more, with Bob Mould currently soldiering on with solo work and activism (and his own blog to boot).

But what of the contenders? Who would carry the torch that the Huskers once held in a genre that I would call "Adult Punk"?

Were Husker Du responsible for the rise of pop-punk (or was it punk-pop) and it's derivatives - adult-Alternative, emo and the ilk? We may debate this until the cows come home. The fact of the matter is what band would fit in with the likes of Husker, Soul Asylum, Urge Overkill and the Afghan Whigs?

Nirvana may come to mind if it weren't for that sad day in April 1994 when Kurt Cobain decided to permanently go solo. For all it's rage, the band made itself surprisingly accessible to the general public that many clones have sprung up. That phenomenon always was, is and ever will be neither new or special in the realm of pop muzak, but in the era of super-sized fast-food muzak production, people wanted more of that sound and that vibe.

Like any other indie band, Husker Du didn't cater to the taste of fast-food muzak junkies - they seemed content with doing their own thing on their own terms.

Do other bands have what it takes to be the next Husker Du? Allow me to roll off the following that I know...

  1. Green Day - SoCal power trio. Started life as your average "ponk" band. Recent offering "American Idiot" showcased mature and political themes;

  2. Blink-182 - Another SoCal power trio. Started life as a rambunctious "ponk" band. Started getting a bit more serious with "Adam's Song" on "Enema of the State". Epynominous last offering started to touch on adult angst;

  3. Good Charlotte - Started off as your average emo-glam-punk outfit. Latest release "Chronicles of Life and Death" is seen as a foray to the dark side;

  4. Sum-41 - Started life as Ajax, ON "ponkers" with a taste for hip-hop and hair metal (see video for "Fat Lip/Pain for Pleasure"). Nearly got asses blown off in Congo. Experience led to latest offering "Chuck";

  5. Billy Talent - Named after fictional guitarist "Billy Tallent" in "Hard Core Logo". Both punk and screemo, they posses serious, yet acessible sensibilities.

By the way... I think that a Husker Du box set is long over-du, don't you think.

Trust me... you do.

Next up: who'll be the new Paris Hilton? Stay tuned.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Hockey: is our State Religion on hold?

I just have to say this...


That's right, at about this time, the NHL and the NHLPA are at a standoff.

Actually, right about now it's a Mexican standoff, since the two warring factions are now faced with the wrath of the media, the fans and players in other leagues who have ice dreams of facing off for the Stanley Cup.

Hockey is what keeps up Canadians talkative around the water cooler. That's right, Yanks... go ahead with your NFL, MLB and the NBA... up here, hockey isn't just a sport: it's a religion.

Like any other religion, you have your practioners and choirboys (Bobby Hull, Bobby Orr), the ushers (also known as "referees"), the novices (rookies), the high priests (Gretzky, Lemieux), the saints (Bill Barilko, Tim Horton, Gil Perreault, Guy Lafleur), the cathederals (Maple Leaf Gardens, le Forum de Montréal, Madison Square Gardens), the laymen (Ray Bourque, Mike Bossy, Theo Fleury), the popes (Pat Burns, Toe Blake, Roger Nielson, Jacques Lemaire), and even a prophet (the Man Himself, Don Cherry!).

There's a congregation (the season ticket holders), tithing (ticket and concession prices), the singing of hymns (Oh, Canada and the Star Spangled Banner) along with the amens (Na Na Naah Naah - Hey Heyy... GOODBYE) and of course the holy sacrements (the entry of players, the dropping of the puck).

Hell... the sport also has its own inquisitors - can you say Bob Probert and Tie Fuckin' Domi, kids?

But today, the practitioners, the laymen, the inquisitors, the choirboys - the lot are locked out due to a contract dispute with powers that be led by Gary Bettman - a former NBA exec who is still trying to get a grip on what hockey - our religion - is all about.

Like all other contract disputes, this is all about money and job security. It isn't as if the practicing clergy is starving - they're gettng paid quite decently for their troubles. But hockey is a game that causes lots of injuries, and the cost of fixing up whatever ails the clergy keeps going up.

The porblem is that neither the clergy and the powers that be could see eye-to-eye as equals. Both parties claim that whatever they propose would be in the best interests of the sport, the fans and the players. Yet there stand these two hulking rocks of Gibraltars saying, "Fuck you - your proposal sucks cock" for the past few months, without mention of compromise, concession or consensus.

In the end, everyone loses, with the fans losing the most. Because without hockey, our winters would be without purpose or meaning. There would be no water cooler conversations or barroom philosophising, nor would there be any point of reference or inspiration for hockey players young and old, since anything normally shown on CBC Saturday nights act as dream sequences, with body checks, hat tricks, power plays, short-handed goals, penalty killings and fighting - err... creative conflict management.

But at least the Saturday night hockey widows would be able to spend some more quality time with their loved ones.

Whatever the liabilities or benefits there may be, these two warring factions should get their shit together and learn to come to a decent consensus before it becomes too late to start a decent season.

Luckily, the smaller leagues are starting to fill the void left by the NHL. If there is a silver lining to this dark cloud of shinny pessimism, it would be in form of the AHL, QJHL, OHL and all the other leagues. But the average Canadian NHL fan is spoiled and jaded - he wants to see the stars now, not under development. And this is where the NHL and NHLPA should take a small step back and survey the damage left by the this lockout, simply because they are hurting themselves by depriving the fans their sport by litigation,

That's all... and there you go.

Is anything sacred anymore?

Oh my God... They've outsourced Santa!

You bastards.

What's next - priests, rabbis, soldiers, despots, voters?

Sooner or later, NHL players may be next!

Horror of horrors! What will they think of next?

(Thanks Michelle Malkin)

Saturday, December 18, 2004

The Wrong really HATES YOU.

This is something that I posted on the Rottweiler site. I believe it deserves a rightful spot on my blog...

Let me add something a little irrational about the Wrong, a.k.a. the "Left".

People who belong to the Wrong hate the following:

a) the world - imagine: all the injustices, all the holocausts, all the 9/11s are caused by high-order primates who believe that every bright shiny thing would make life a little better. The Wrong hate the world for it's bridges, buildings, roads, transportation, sanitation, prosperity, because in their own minds, they pollute Mother Earth.

Yet, they also hate...

b) the planet - animals killing each other for food, earthquakes, blizzards, dirt everywhere, tsunamis galore: as much as the Wrong believe in saving the planet by protesting against any kind of electricity plant built on their watch, any kind of hunt which might benefit one species because of overpopulation, or any landfill site that eventually turn into greenspace as soon as it gets full, they couldn't stand living out in the wild without benefit of all the products made as a result of our responsible exploitation of resources.

As a result, they hate...

c) humanity - PETA hounds humans irrationally for eating meat, wearing animal-derived clothing, testing on animals and using animals as milk providers, entertainers and companions.

I can understand the food part - it does involve killing and we all know that killing isn't cool. The same with clothes, although no sheep that I know of ever died as a result of shearing. Testing on animals - well, they don't talk, complain or offer recommendations to manufacturers on how to improve on their product.

But PETA, in their infinite, enlightened wisdom, wants to force their beliefs onto all those who partake in animal-derived products. Why? Maybe because a) those animals are too cute to be used; b) they're probably zoophiliacs (look it up, eh?); c) they think all plants hold the cure; or d) because we are on top of the food chain (unless we're lost in the woods or out at sea - then we're probably a close second to bears, wolves, sharks, orcae...)

And we humans are so damn imperfect - fighting wars over skin colour, politics, religion, language, land, resources or some other stupid-ass shit like "pride" or "honour". Ironically, the Wrong have proven to be just as human as the others, taking sides in such nonsensical conflicts such as Arab vs. Jew in the Mid-East. If they care so much about equal rights, why did they side with the Arab? Why couldn't they be impartial? Maybe because they hate...

d) reason - humans reason, humans err, therefore reason can be wrong, especially for the Wrong.

They get so wrapped up in their own paranoid paradigms that they wind up with a completely blinkered view of the world. In an increasingly "cut/copy/paste" mediaspace, the Wrong could edit out all the unpleasant aspects of a balnced report to create a pleasant, warm, soothing literary opiate for the masses. If the truth were to be unbearable, it would either be excised or modified to co-exist in the dreamscape, while sweet, deluded lies either get augmented and glorified or left well enough alone to complete the picture.

If the truth proves to be a little too big to handle, the Wrong would retreat, not because they've been proven wrong, but because they have to manufacture a rebuttal to counter it. As much as they loathe the truth, they truly loathe...

e) themselves - ever wonder why Michael Moore acts this way. Maybe he was taunted so much as a kid. Maybe he was ostracised for being too fat and talkative. Any other poor kid would've stood up and overcome his insecurity. Not Michael - he would take it out on the world, regardless of whether he's right or wrong.

Maybe the Wrong has some serious self-opinion issues that were never resolved during childhood, which festered until it became a cancer of self-loathing and arrogant defenciveness. Deep down inside, those misbegotten denizens would want to bid adieu to a cruel, heartless, carniverous, vivisectionist, unfair and flawed world and do themselves in.

But remember what I said before: killing isn't cool, so in addition to hating themselves, they hate...

f) you - you of the opposing opinion; you of the other side of the coin; you of free thought. Certain desparate people have this dire need of more people to commiserate with. Failing that, they would go on destroying others so that they won't feel alone in the world. If the Wrong desire to do themselves away in an orgy of Jonestown, Guyana proportions, they would prefer to either take some of you with them or meet up with the enemy that they have embraced, hold a flower out as a peace offering, then get blown to a million pieces, their PLUR*-ious notions of peace, love and understanding finally fulfilled in a rose-coloured shower of blood, bone and sinew.

Of course, not all Leftists are stupid, gullible, self-hating and suicidal. George Orwell, author of "Animal Farm" and "1984", was one. Many Leftists have influenced North-American democracy, labour practices and productivity. And don't forget - love 'em or hate 'em - the Soviets did help us win against Hitler and his filthy little minions.

But it's those big-L Leftists and Liberals and big-P Progressives that are screwing themselves over. We North-Americans have progressed so much with market-driven capitalism and are willing to share the secrets with the rest of the enlightened world, yet the Wrong has found itself left out of the picture, hence this very asinine conflict.

So to all the Moonbats out there, you have a choice: agree to disagree, convince that we're wrong, admit that you're wrong, or put a bullet in your heads.

I hope that you'd stick to the first three options.

If you decide on option four, please don't shoot us first.

P.S. - PLUR is a Raver's term meaning "Peace, Love, Unity and Respect", especially amongst other Ravers. Sadly, as more of these "Candy Kids" either grow up or burn out from all the drugs and partying, and unless the World decides to stop disintegrating into sheer pettiness, the whole term is bound to get more moot than ever.

And anyways - PLUR is not a real word, and I've gotten over that shit a long time ago.

If this doesn't make you want to fucking puke, then you must be very fucking DEAD!

Now just think about it... what would drive a thirty-something woman to take the life of a pregnant twenty-something, rip the fetus out of the mother's womb and claim the newborn as her own?

Do you think that shit would be justified? Should we feel sorry for the murderess, the mom or the baby?

Fuck that. There are no words that describe this sick act - which, by the way, has many precedants.

A criminal complaint said Lisa Montgomery admitted she strangled Bobbie Jo Stinnett and took her baby. The complaint also said Montgomery lied to her husband about giving birth, although U.S. Attorney Todd Graves declined to give a motive for the crime.

But get a load of this charge:

Montgomery, 36, of Melvern, Kan., was charged with kidnapping resulting in death, Graves said. Montgomery, a mother of two, had been pregnant but lost a child, Graves said, though it was unclear when or under what circumstances.

So I believe that this is some inbred white-trash closet crack-whore who is so despondant about losing a baby, she decided to visit Bobbie Jo on the pretext of buying a dog just so she could kill her to get at the baby, right?

So much for survival of the fittest.


When I was a kid. I believed in Santa Claus.

I also believed that if I were bad, God would send me to Hell.

Over the years, I bacame sceptical of their existences. While I still consider God as the ultimate, singular Great Unknown, Santa Claus was seen as a big, hulking, bearded marketing stragegy in my eyes.

But this year, a miracle happened.

Vince Carter got traded to the New Jersey Nets.

Yes! There is a God!

In return, the Raptors go themselves a whole shitload of players and options along with veteran Alonzo Mourning.

Yes, Virginia - there really is a Santa Claus!

I've always said that given this team's "fuck-it" attitude, they didn't deserve Carter.

And given Carter's often babyish attitude, he didn't deserve to be in this team any longer.

And now the painful process of rebuilding and retooling the Raptors shall begin. I bet that all these players shall have no choice but to play as a team and not like a catfighting group of supermodels.

Either they get it together, or we Torontonians everywhere will have to look elsewhere for our sports entertainment.

Like hockey.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

More sick-fuck kids killing each other, fuck!

What the fuck is wrong back in Upper Canada?

Is it in the water? The junk food? The air?

Why does this have to happen?

Two years ago, Orangeville, ON 16-yr-old Robbie McLennan made friends with another teen and started hanging out. That was the first mistake.

Then the two met a couple of drifters from Scarborough and started hanging out with them. That was the second mistake.

Eventually, they decided to have a party in the woods. One of the drifters, a 20-yr-old man, got sick from the booze and puked. Robbie laughed.

That was the last mistake.

The court heard that the 20-year-old charged Robbie, kicking him and punching him. He then forced Robbie to perform fellatio on him, court documents say.
But that ain't all.

He was raped, and then raped with a stick, forced to watch others have intercourse, burned at least five times with cigarettes, urinated on in his mouth, held down and kicked again and again, kicked so hard he had a boot imprint on his head, stoned with 10-kilo rocks, and then left for dead ... with more than 40 distinct injuries.
Bear in mind that this took place over the course of 3 hours, a little bit longer than Mr. Blonde's cop torture routine in "Reservoir Dogs". Three suspects, the "friend", the 20-yr-old and his 16-yr-old girlfriend, were shortly arrested

Now the "friend" has pleaded guilty to second degree murder and will be sentenced in February, 2005. Under Canada's now-repealed "Young Offenders Act" his identity has been protected: this poor little muffin can't be exposed to the prying eyes of a concerned community.

Yes... those poor little muffins who realised that if they were to commit some heinous crime, the most that they could get was 3 years in juvie hall. THREE MOTHERFUCKING YEARS, FOR FUCK SAKES!

Now mull on this - do you think that any adult who commited crimes could be that stupid to immediately plead "guilty" in front of judge and jury? OF COURSE NOT! That fucker would cry "frameup" or "mistaken identity" then concoct an alibi or 2.

Not this poor little baby baby-killer. He settled for a quick "guilty" plea. Under the old system, he would do the 3 years, then get out "cured", "rehabilitated", "remorseful".

Of course, he may also have satisfied his jones of taking another person's life.

So much for "a life for a life".

If you're a kid under 18 living in Canada, it may be "a life = 3 years".

Of course, all this may change: the new "Youth Criminal Justice Act" mind wind up closing some distateful loopholes, meaning that young persons under 18 may be charged with adult crimes in some cases and may receive adult sentencing.

Of course, there may be some exceptions. For youth sentencing, first-degree (pre-meditated / capital) murder could cost up to 10 years while second-degree (non pre-meditated / non-capital) murder would net the offender 7 years. Both crimes would come with extra penalties after time has been served.

However, a youngster may face adult sentences for certain crimes deemed "presumptive", meaning...

a) an offence committed, or alleged to have been committed, by a young person who has attained the age of fourteen years, or, in a province where the lieutenant governor in council has fixed an age greater than fourteen years under section 61, the age so fixed, under one of the following provisions of the Criminal Code:

(i) section 231 or 235 (first degree murder or second degree murder within the meaning of section 231),

(ii) section 239 (attempt to commit murder),

(iii) section 232, 234 or 236 (manslaughter), or

(iv) section 273 (aggravated sexual assault); or

(b) a serious violent offence for which an adult is liable to imprisonment for a term of more than two years committed, or alleged to have been committed, by a young person after the coming into force of section 62 (adult sentence) and after the young person has attained the age of fourteen years, or, in a province where the lieutenant governor in council has fixed an age greater than fourteen years under section 61, the age so fixed, if at the time of the commission or alleged commission of the offence at least two judicial determinations have been made under subsection 42(9), at different proceedings, that the young person has committed a serious violent offence.

There's a whole lot of stuff in the new act, all written in a language known only to those who practice the arcane science of "law". And if you think it may be confusing and unworkable in practice, well NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! It definitely is.

Which is why everything about "young offenders" and "youth criminal justice" should be tossed out, torn up, burned to ashes then flushed down the toilet, because WE LOVE OUR KIDS and we DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE HURT.

Just keep it fucking simple. You do the crime: you do the time. And fuck anyone else who believe otherwise.

And for all you civil liberties nutcases: have a look around you, get off the fucking E and start living in the real world, because this generation of young teen thugs may be a lot smarter (and tougher) than you think.

Stop blaming just the parents and the schools for the lack of control: blame our PLUR-ific politicians who have no clue about modern crime.

The Blue-and-White monster goes gizmo gaga!

The monster value store chain, Wal-Mart (it's the new K-Mart, y'know) keeps growing and growing. Just as Starbucks is putting it's store on every street corner on the planet, Wal-Mart is content with putting it's monster market on every single vacant lot available.

But world domination doesn't come cheap.

"Wal-Mart is having trouble generating solid year-over-year growth numbers," said Steve Baker, an analyst with The NPD Group. "One of the ways they can start generating a lot of growth is to expand into categories where they haven't been, especially in high (dollar) value products. Flat-panel TVs is one."
That's right! Wal-Mart is going ahead with its own branded gadgets under the "iLo" marque.

(BTW - is it just me, or is every newfangled high-tech doohickey starting to sprout names begining with the pronoun "I" plus something? i.e. iTunes, iPod, Itanium, Insignia by Best Buy, b'y, etc. Should I rebrand my blog "i-2-Dray" for more traffic? Hmmmm...)

Wal-Mart enjoys a fairly unique position as an electronics supplier. It caters to a broad audience of consumers with more than 3,000 stores in the United States and maintains tight relationships with Asian electronics manufacturers, which it can use to turn out its iLo gear.
Translation: expect peasants from the Middle Kingdom to upgrade their skills from oxen and plough to microchips and solder to make good cheap goods. (China is the new Japan, y'know?)

... Wal-Mart's iLo DVD recorder DVDRO4 sells for about $150, meaning it costs between about $50 and $100 less than similar player offered by other brands. Another DVD recorder, DVDRHO4, which comes with an 80GB hard drive, costs about $280, about $90 less than a similar Toshiba model found on Wal-Mart's Web site. For its part, the iLo music player, with 256MB of memory and FM radio tuner, sells for about $80, around $30 to $60 less than other like devices.
Please note to my fellow Canadians: these are U.S. $ prices that the article's talking about. But don't you all fret. Sooner or later, everyone can afford to pirate good clean copies of "Trailer Park Boys" episodes by the truckload.

Not to mention the fact that Wal-Mart also sells 42" plasma sets for less than US$2000. Now that's what I call a freakin' bargain.

Of course you could also get yourself to Future Shop in Canada (owned by Best Buy, by the way, b'y) for the latest in bargain hi-tech (i.e. the Prima brand).

But Wal-Mart's efforts to expand its consumer electronics sales could be limited by the customers it serves and its reputation as a low-price merchandiser.
Yes... blame us for our geargasmic lust. The traditional Catholic sins of greed and envy drive the hi-tech markets. And of course, who has more bragging rights in the race to keep up and eventually beat up on the Joneses? Someone with the latest big-name monitor or some bargain basement knockoff from the Middle Kingdom?

In the end, the customer will always be right when s/he finds the right diamond in the rough.

And time marches on...

Is there a "Why" anymore?

(This is brought on by the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler's Emperor Darth Misha I's article right here.)

Rick Steves, author of the "Europe Through the Back Door" books and host of the popular public television travel program, "Rick Steves' Europe" asks the burning question: "Can we fight terrorism constructively?".

Let's take this apart...

On Sept. 11, 2001, the World Trade Center towers collapsed and angry clouds of dust chased U.S. citizens through the streets of New York City. The world was outraged. And the United States was outraged. So much so that -- three long years later -- many Americans still refuse to even dignify the attack by asking, "Why did they do it?"
"Why" is probably the most important of the 5 W's - more important than "what"; way more important then "who", "where" and "when" combined. At least, that's in my humblest of opinions.

When you consider the fact that the United States is the template for most funtional liberal democracies and arguably the most prosperous nation of the G7/8/9/whatever, the answer may be obvious.

But we must understand the enemy to combat them. Let me play the role of one of the thousands of Muslim parents who've named their babies Osama in the past year and look at the situation from the point of view of these devout Muslims offended and threatened by the reach of U.S. power.
This is where things get a little bit out of hand. Part of our human frailty is the ability to objectify, exoticise or eroticise alien cultures/practices/ideologies. Communism and fascism all started out as alien and hostile, but thanks to Mao and his oh-so-stylish peasant suit, Hitler in his über-butch stormtrooper drag and Che Guevara in his proto-grunge getup, people started becoming attracted to them. It takes quite a bit of good fashion sense to win the hearts and minds of aimless people.

Of course, it's doubtful that the ugly Amurrican Steves has ever picked up the Qur'an and went through the Suras, let alone spent some time in an Islamic nation. And watching "Midnight Express" doesn't count. But I'll leave the metaphysics to someone who is better qualified.

Who was actually being attacked on that terrible day? The targets chosen were not symbolic of average Americans (say, a shopping mall or sports stadium). They weren't symbols of the freedoms that this country stands for (Statue of Liberty). Rather, the 9/11 hijackers went straight for the institutions of U.S. might in the world: international corporations (the Trade Towers), the U.S. military (the Pentagon) and -- had the fourth plane reached its likely goal -- our commander in chief (the White House).
The fact of the matter is that something on American soil was attacked. Pre-9/11 America was a complacent, self-centred entity, smug in its own assumption that "big-things" happen to other countries and that the land of the free, home of the Atlanta Braves would end up bailing-out those countries where the "big-things" wound up out of control. Of course, since the Vietnam war, the country was on the verge of cocooning itself into a relatively isolated corner, only to emerge if its interests were in danger of being threatened.

And don't get me wrong: the country still had a viable military as evidenced by Desert Storm (Grenada and Panama don't count, by the way). Yet when Bill Clinton ruled the White House for the full 2 terms, the nation reverted to its comfortably numb state.

If you remember the old-school candy raves back in the nineties, you'd probably remember the PLUR that went around (along with E, K and Crystal). That was Clinton's America at the time. Never mind Oklahoma City, the WTC car-bomb or Columbine. And don't get me started on Kosovo or the occasional strikes on terror targets or Saddam's Iraq - they were all but tiny hiccups in the Prozac nation.

But in the end - it was all business as usual. Corporations expanded, contracted, downsized and expanded again. Money was being exchanged as usual while people struggled with everyday decisions.

But a foreign terrorist attack of such enormity? On U.S. soil? Horror of horrors: it just coudn't happen, right?

Sadly, 9/11 is an example when someone underestimates or dismisses an enemy threat. And throughout the 8 years that Clinton was in power, the enemy was being dismissed, and the policies that spawned it weren't being positively addressed.

A billion Muslims throughout the world have three serious concerns: Palestine needs security and self-respect; they want the American military out of Islam; and they want control of their natural resources (to charge whatever they like for their oil). These are three basic foreign policy questions that any U.S. president could address without compromising the security and interests of America or Israel.
BULLSHIT! Muslims are plagued by so many people claiming to be the Messiah, thus they get caught up by whatever delusions the self-appointed saviour may have, such as: a) Palestine must thrive, so Israel must be destroyed; b) people who praise Allah must live in abject poverty and ignorance in order to be sincere; c) Muslims don't need any help - they're perfect enough as it stands; and d) everyone else is beneath us.

Not all Muslims think like that. Sadly, those who think differently wind up with huge prices on their heads and a one-way ticket to Hell by their respected mullahs/imams/Messiahs. So as far as Moderate Muslims are concerned - assume that any existence of them is nothing short of a miracle.

The United States' overwhelming global dominance is unprecedented in human history. Many Muslims fear the Americanization of their culture. In addition, the United States declares natural resources (such as oil) in Muslim countries "vital to its national security." And our immense military -- as big as the rest of the world's combined and unfightable by means other than terrorism --defends U.S. access to markets and natural resources throughout the globe.

It's clear that maintaining our dominance by force is costly in civil liberties, our moral standing in the world, tax dollars and human lives. So my Burning Question is:

Could we more effectively fight terrorism by understanding what motivates it and then taking away the source of the anger? Wouldn't it be cheaper and wiser to just face our enemy, ask "Why?" and respond constructively?
The problem is that those same Muslims eventually immigrate to the U.S. (and by extension, Canada, and any other "western" nation) because they have virtually no rights in their own countries. No right to prosperity. No right to advance. No right to dissent and speak one's mind. And as I have said before, the United States is an example of a liberal democracy at work. True: there have been times when injustices have been done - it was a liberal democracy only for Whites until after the Civil War, peoples were ghettoised in the latter part of the 19th century, etc., etc. But because people dissented, changes came out easily in the U.S., if not painlessly, compared to other countries.

But most people with half a brain and an acceptable amount of literacy and reading comprehension should be able to have figured out the "why" by now.

If you're a despot whose people are fleeing your dictatorship for better opportunities elsewhere, you'd probably have a reason.

If you're an ambitious cleric who's worried about all those questions regarding your interpretation of the faith and its holy books, you'd probably have a reason.

If you're a "freedom fighter" paranoid about defections because someone has found truth about the "other side", you'd probabaly have a reason.

All in all, if you're someone worried about losing your unquestionable grip on the population because of a "better idea", you'd probably have a reason.

Question answered. NEXT...

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Dimebag Darrell - RIP

This is fucking tragic. And stupid beyond all comprehension.

At a Damageplan show in Columbus, OH, some crazed fuck charged onstage at a nightclub and opened fire on the band and crowd, killing Dimebag and three other people before a police officer shot him to death.

Damageplan had just begun its first song at Alrosa Villa club Wednesday night when the gunman climbed onstage, started yelling and shot (Dimebag) five or six times at point-blank range, witness Chris Couch said.

Supposedly, the fucker was pissed about the demise of Dimebag's last band, Pantera and had singled out the axeman as the cause of the breakup.

This is just plain, fucking pathetic. But then again, these people exist.

My sympathies go out to Damageplan, their fans, and all of Dimebag's friends and families. Big Up, Darrell.

Standing on guard for thee costs money! DOYY!

Tell us something that we don't know about.

A Canadian Senate report stated some shortfalls in our post 9/11 security apparatus.

Translation - as hard as we try to protect the country from the evil Whatsisname, Chummy and the ever menacing Whatever, we couldn't do it any better without manpower and money.

Like... DUH!

The fact that Canada hasn’t suffered a terrorist attack after 9-11 is largely luck, not good planning and preparedness, says a Senate report.

Of course, many people believe that because we are such a peaceful, progressive nation that didn't get behind W when he launched his attack on Iraq, nobody would touch us. Right?

“When it comes to national security and defence — issues that are not part of the everyday lives of most Canadians — the vast majority of citizens trust in luck,” the national security and defence committee said Wednesday.

“Unfortunately, luck is notoriously untrustworthy.”

The report touched on various aspects of national security that needed improvement, and there were many examples that pointed out that the Government was not doing enough to enhance and expand on various initiatives. Case in point: the security on the Great Lakes is virtually non-existent. Any determined criminal/terrorist mastermind could create a virtual pipeline between Ontario and New York without detection.

Of course, one could also point out the illegal cigarette and booze smuggling operations carried out in the Thousand Islands area around Kingston. The Ontario Provincial Police had a very fun time trying to enforce the law in the area, yet those wily smugglers still find a way to ply their clandestine trade, and as long as smokes and booze continue to get taxed higher, there will always be a demand for the contraband.

Even more disturbing is the following revelation...

The committee was particularly concerned with issues like passes for airport workers, which Kenny said are easily forged, and port security, where police in places like Montreal might attend a domestic dispute in the morning, a shoplifting incident at noon and port matters in the afternoon.

In Halifax, seven police officers are assigned to full-time port security, he said — not nearly enough.

“The problem at seaports is huge,” said Kenny, adding that the situation at U.S. ports is no better. “We have no adequate policing at seaports.”

Kenny cited efforts at the much larger seaport of Rotterdam in Holland, which has more than 280 police “working on the port and only on the port.

“The model of Rotterdam is the right one; the models we are using here in Canada are not.”

Not to mention the shortfalls in airport security: we already have 2 incidents where bombs were loaded onto jets here in Canada.

So what will the masters do about this?

My gut feeling is that they will probably get better astrologers. After all, we are a peaceful, progressive nation. Right?

Monday, December 06, 2004

More examples of fucked-up kids these days...

Is it just me, or does each generation have a portion that goes down the toilet?

Is there anything Darwinian about this trend of some kids doing heinous stuff to each other?

If not, here are some examples:

  • Exhibit A: "Boy died defending girl: 'He was my hero and my best friend,' mom says"

    So what were these young punk-ass swinging-dicks thinking when they knifed 16-year-old Drew Stewart, who was defending his pregnant friend?

    Were these fuckoes trying to be tough and build a little street cred so they could join a bigger, more organised gang as soon as they leave juvie? Have they been watching too many episodes of "The Sopranos" and "Oz" and trying to learn so much about being made men and prison enforcers selling "tits" to the Gen Pop? Are they really that stupid to believe this made-up shit, no matter how realistic these shows look? Jesus Fuck.

    The 16-year-old was pronounced dead at St. Michael's hospital after being stabbed outside a Coxwell Ave. restaurant, south of O'Connor Dr., around 1:30 p.m. Friday.
    To the best of my memory, that area is hardly the place to bring your kids, let alone bring one's self at night.

    Drew, who celebrated his birthday last month, was a popular kid who enjoyed all sports, but especially liked playing basketball.

    His mom said she will miss watching his games with the high school basketball team, and watching him play in the backyard with his friends.

    He also played at the local community centre, where last year he was knocked unconscious defending a 12-year-old who was being beaten up, she said.

    "He felt he had to do something," said his mom.

    To quote an old Ferengi Proverb: no good deed ever goes unpunished.

    Here's hoping that the good deed commited on Drew gets it's just desserts.

  • Exhibit B: a Strathroy, ON area teen took his own life after having to endure a long period of bullying.

    He learned how to end it all from the same place where he took his lumps. From the internet.

    Maria Melo said a family audit of her son's computer showed he had visited Internet sites containing information about how to commit suicide.
    So where do we point the finger? At the internet, or the perpetrators?

  • Exhibit C: summing up all this clusterfuck is my favourite X-tian bald dude, Michael Coren, who just stumbled upon a nice little controversy involving an Athens, Georgia teacher and his interpretation of his school's time of reflection.

    As a small frame of reference... when I was growing up, my school started off its day with "Oh Canada" followed by the Lord's Prayer. To me, these two seemed integral and inclusive: we were all Canadians and bound together by the Judaeo/X-tian moral structures upon which the country was founded.

    But because of radical political correctness, the Lord's Prayer was gradually excised and was replaced by a moment's silence when I got into high school. I suspect that some of my peers were either reciting the Prayer, invoking a Kiddush, prostrating towards Mecca or reciting anything from the Grateful Dead or the "Satanic Bible". Maybe my generation didn't turn out so bad after all, but as usual, I may be wrong.

    Anyways, the teacher, Tommy Craft, recited something called "The New School Prayer". A story of it could be found here, courtesy of urban-legend-mongers Coren, a wily, witty ol' bugger himself, added a few more stanzas in the spirit of the "prayer", but then concludes with something else that you, the reader, will have to find out.

Thank God, I'm an adult. Say a prayer for the kids.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

What I did on the weekend of 3-5 December 2004.

Friday: went to work with a sinus headache; sorted and updated a few navigational charts; grabbed 2 extra strength Tylenols for headache; went back to quarters; bought the latest Leonard Cohen ("Dear Heather"), the latest from The Streets ("a grand don't come for free") and a few others; played Diablo II; crashed out...

Saturday: woke up early; helped set up ops room and nav supplies, then slipped Shawinigan; went back to quarters; played Diablo II; ripped a whole bunch of CD's into my PC; crashed out...

Sunday: woke up early; checked email; had breakfast; played Diablo II; ripped a few more CD's into my PC; went to Bravo jetty to receive Shawinigan; stayed on to do cleaning stations; went for quick supper (pizza at Sicilian's on Quinpool); came back to update blog; pissed off because I never bothered buying tickets to the Hip show at the Metro Centre; crashed out...

So far, just another average weekend chez Jacques.

Oh, Joanie Laurer... how could you? (WARNING: XXX-PLICIT CONTENT!)

Way back in the day, Chyna was at the top of her game as the "Ninth Wonder of the World" in the World Wrestling Federation (a.k.a. the WWE). Having freed herself from the clutches of the evil Triple H, Chyna had to prove herself to the rest to the "rasslin'" world that she was the real thing... a woman who could go toe-to-toe, face-to-face against anyone in the ring.

Love her or hate her, you have to give Joanie Laurer a whole whack of respect for going up against all comers, regardless of gender, regardless of attitude.

Fast-foward to the here and now: there had been rumours going around that Joanie and X-Pac, a.k.a. the 1-2-3 Kid, a.k.a. Sean Waltman had made a little... video together. And somehow, someone got a hold of it.

And I thought it was just another tabloid-urban myth-bullshit rap, until I touched down at and stumbled onto this article where I would up seeing more of her anatomy than I could ever care to see.

Of course, since we're in an era of constantly loosening standards, that vid will soon be heading to "adult" video stores pretty soon. It's titled "1 Night In China" (sic). Well, maybe "1 Night Inside Chyna" would be more appropriate, since the company, Red Light District Video prides itself on being "The #1 Name in Hardcore Gonzo Video". The reasoning behind this cunning stunt goes like this...

"The video was something that my boyfriend and I taped for our own personal pleasure," explained Laurer. "However, when it got into an outside party's hands, I said, 'I'll make a preemptive strike and release the video myself.' Besides, I'm proud of my performance in the video and feel confident that my fans throughout the world will love it."

After meeting with Red Light District Video's President, David Joseph, Laurer was certain that Red Light District was the company that she wanted to distribute her movie. "Red Light [District Video] is the only company that I would want to distribute this movie. David is a wonderful person and the success of the Paris Hilton video is evidence that they know how to market and sell a Celebrity-driven sex video," said Laurer.
That's right... Red Light's other claim to fame was the pirating and distribution of Paris Hilton's original video performance. Somehow, that little slip sort of boosted her stock in the mainstream celebrity scene.

Would Chyna's latest video escapade be able to do the same wonders for Joanie Laurer as "1 Night In Paris" did for Ms. Hilton?

Let me put it to you this way: would any guy be man enough to fellate Chyna?


Monday, November 29, 2004

Tommy Douglas, father of universal health care - Greatest Canadian???

What does it say about our country?

That we're good for our health care?

No dis to Mr. Douglas, but isn't there more to our country than Canadian Medicare?

Like telecommunications? Hockey? Scientific innovations? Traditional values? Political will and resolve? The hardiness of our national character? Our ingrained audacity.

The standings look like this in CBC's Greatest Canadian Campaign...

1. T.C. Douglas.
2. Terry Fox.
3. Pierre Trudeau.
4. Sir Frederick Banting.
5. David Suzuki.
6. Lester Pearson.
7. Don Cherry.
8. Sir John A. Macdonald.
9. Alexander Graham Bell.
10. Wayne Gretzky.

In a nutshell...

Terry Fox lost his leg to cancer and decided to run across the country to raise awareness of the disease.

Pierre Elliot Trudeau, for better or for worse, brought the country together and created the progressive atmosphere of the "Just Society" that people like me are still paying for.

Sir Frederick Banting uncovered the secrets of insulin and paved the way for diabetes research. Sadly, like cancer, there's still no cure for diabetes.

David Suzuki, still alive and kicking, gave a human face to science, environment and activism, and has one heck of a sense of humour in doing so.

Lester Pearson helped broker a resolution of the Suez Crisis and implement United Nations Peacekeeping. Sadly, General Romeo Dallaire was hardly considered even though he risked his own life and sanity while dealing with the organosation's shortfalls.

Don Cherry is Canada's "Mr. Hockey" known for his outspoken views on, well, anything that's not yet bolted down or granted "sacred-mad-cow" status.

Sir John A. Macdonald was Canada's first prime minister and Father of this Confederation. Was it an achievement or a mistake? Who knows? Who cares? We have a country. That's good enough, right?

Alexander Graham Bell was more than the guy who invented the telephone. He also pioneered the hydroplane on Bras D'or Lake at the turn of the 20th century. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't be getting all this porn-site and penis-enlarger spam. Now that was a mensch.

Wayne Gretzky didn't invent hockey, but he owned it during the 80s with the Edmonton Oilers. Too bad he's a bit over-the-hill to go back to the sport he loves, but what the Hell... he had been and always will be "The Great One" wearing 99 for Peter Pocklington.

Check out the story here

New feature... take a guess and look below!

See... that's a new feature.

Will it go or will it blow? You decide!

Now enjoy the rest of my weblog, you knucklehead. :)

Sunday, November 28, 2004

In my travels...

Peoples and places
Disparate races
Melding and blending
Various buildings

Streets of gold
Roads of dirt
Cheers of joy
Tears of hurt

Mountains of BC
Plains of Alberta
Saskatchwan wheatfields
Regina New Year

Lakehead in the winter
Waking in Wawa
Great Canadian Shield
Big rocky field

Concrete corridor
Quebec to Detroit
Endless Ohio
Blue moon of Kentucky

Keep on shining crazy diamond
In the muddy Mississppi
Suffocating in Memphis
On a hot August day

With Elvis at rest
Lying in Graceland
Just a plain old house
Just like my own

Georgia on my mind
Sun sand sex on the brain
Florida moonshine
On a hot winter day

From the concrete corridor
Toronto to Quebec
The valleys of the Madawaska
The world's longest covered bridge

Moncton skyline
Amherst pit stop
Breakfast at Timmy's
Dinner at Wendy's

Halifax water
Dartmouth bedroom
Moonlight over Musquodoboit
Harlots in Charlottetown

Passed out on George St.
St. John's summertime
Pizza in the morning
Whiskey in the jar

Midnight sun
Aurora Borealis
Iqaluit, Nunavut
Barren land of ice

Everything seen and heard
Reduced to synapses and memories
Frozen in time on celluloid
Or in combinations of 1s and 0s

Permutations of destinations
Sights, sounds, tastes, smells
Cold bed, warm body
Full tank, empty stomach

Country in Canmore
Gospel in Tennesee
Rock in America
Hip Hop through Dayton

Tijuana nightlife
San Diego rain
Vancouver junkies
Buying fixes by selling meat

Or cameras, speakers
Anything they could steal
They could have gotten something
Like a bath or a meal

Endless journey
Sleepless nights
Truck stop respite
On an endless road
Somewhere on the way to anywhere

Buy my record (then go away)

You think I'm an asshole but why go through the hassle
I'm only trying to do what's best for me
You put me on a pedestal but you know sweet fuck-all
About all the trouble I had to go through
Trying to get my record out

Buy my record... go away
Thanks for caring, you made my day
But don't you come to me for help
I'm just human, just like you
I am ugly, just like you
I'm in no way better than you

Sitting at your PC, going for the lowdown
Going for the download getting off for free
But there's no such thing as a free lunch, friend
'cause it costs so much money
Trying to get a record out

Buy my record... go away
I hope you're happy that I made your day
But you must pay if you want to play
If you really want to know
You must reap what you have sown
It's the same thing every day

You don't know about my hell
I'm not the one to kiss and tell
I just kill to eat and make what I sell
I wish I could help you every day
But it's best that I rather wish you well
Just buy my record and go away

I don't care about the way you vote
The way you travel by car or by boat
I've got no time to be your daddy
Nothing personal but I don't know you
And you don't know me, please understand
I'm not that famous, I'm just a man
If you got money that's okay
Just try to save for a rainy day
But what I do, I want to get paid
I have to pay my bills each day
So buy my record and go away
It's the best, I have to say
I may be arrogant selfish and rude
But, hey motherfucker I'm here to stay

Buy my record... go away
Make me rich, I'll make your day
But don't ask me 'bout how you feel
I don't care if you are hot
I don't care if you smoke pot
And I don't really give a sweet goddamn
About you or your boyfriend or your mom or your dad
About your jerk of a teacher, about your jerk of your boss
About your jerk of your boyfreind and your unborn child
About your girlfriend and how she doesn't understand
About my music and my life
Because I'm human just like you
So here's my advice for you

Live your life... not mine

Spoon-fed: train-of-thought rap...

Starving... wanting...
Hungering... lusting...

You want it in you here-and-now
Not today but yesterday
You want it in you right or wrong
As long as you don't have to pay

Touching... feeling...
Expediently... appealing...

It's not my country right or wrong
That made me have to write this song
Just give me money, give me bling
Guns and ho's and everything

I've got my money
Give me everything
Give me your money
I'll sell you anything

Playing... praying...
Everyone... is waiting...

You be the devil that you know
You want to star in your own show
You take your chances, then you go
Then watch you empire slowly grow

Bleeding... feeding...
Drink this wine... freeze your mind...

Iraq and Afghanistan
French, Yanks and the Germans
Jews, Islams and X-tians
Gather 'round the Candyman

You want everything
Give out your money
Ready to wear and ready to eat
Sell your kids to me

Gimme gimme never get
Don't you know your manners yet
There's no land of plenty
Made of milk and honey

It's the same old movie
With the same old story
Just with different people
And a different author

When your children all grow up
Will you continue or give up
Take it in stride or step aside
Or stick around and stand your ground

Take flight or stand up to fight
Use your brain or follow your heart
In the end all will be gone
Except for art

"Band Aid 20": we don't need another remake

Way back in the Evil Eighties, Boomtown Rat Bob Geldof, moved by the plight of starving Ethiopian children, decided to write a song about feeding the world and let it know about Christmas.

Never mind that everyone was a X-tian back then and that Noel was another 4-letter word. Bob was determined to get that song out to an unsuspecting public to raise funds to alleviate the African famine, even though some people suspected that it was man-made.

Cynicism aside, the single eventually sold 50 million copies since its release in 1984. Since then, people in sub-Saharan Africa are no better than they were back in the day. But we felt none the worse anyway.

Which brings us into 2004, and like all good roads to Hell, the pavement is being done with the production of a new cover of the rock-pop classic. As Sun-Media's Liisa Ladouceur wrote in her article:

Think about some of these lyrics: "Do they know it's Christmas time?" Uh, most Ethiopians are Muslims. I doubt they care much about Jesus' birthday on a good day. "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time." Really? Is that because of the drought? And of course, that famous "thank God it's them" line Bono and Justin both wanted to sing. What kind of prayer is that?

That kind of naivete should be left in the '80s, like wearing satin shorts with sport socks. Today, it just seems ignorant. Like so many holiday pleas, it's also a blatant call to care only when your God is watching.

But let's go back in time when Reagan was in the White House, Thatcher was the U.K. prime minister and Canada was about to elect its first Tory government in years. Bob assembled the best U.K. performers at the time... Paul Young, Boy George, Simon LeBon, Bono, George Michael, Eurythmics, Phil Collins - stuck them in a studio and churned out what turned out to be a classic carol. Considering the spirit of the age - the Cold War "us versus them" attitude, Reaganomics, style over substance, cocaine, etc. - its wasn't a bad song. But there was this patronizing attitude that if we tossed money and food their way, the poor countries would have enough strength to sustain themselves and recover, thus gaining new allies against the Evil Empire in return, right?

But due to some inherent corruption on the part of the governments that negotiated with the Band Aid project, not all the food and money went to the masses. Yet in spite of all the glitches and bitching, pissing and moaning, the Band Aid juggernaut kept growing until Geldof decided to put on a new project called "Live Aid" to escalate the process. Even to this very day, this worldwide television event was, bar none, one of the best showcases of talent in support of a single cause.

Fast forward to 2004, and we have the best that the U.K. has to offer these days. Oh, yeah, Bono and Geldof are on this recording as they were on the original, but now they're joined by a few upstarts such as Joss Stone, Dido, Justin Hawkins from the Darkness - whose very participation pissed off the now-Sainted Bono, Chris Martin from Coldplay (aka Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow), Robbie Williams and Sugarbabes - most of them virtually unknown/criminally ignored (I personally take Williams over Timberlake in a Doom III-style deathmatch any day) on this side of the Pond.

Of course there will be cynics on the Wrong and the Right: after all, once is enough, twice is pointless. I can't fault Geldof for his good intentions, influenced by the recent events in Darfur. But ask yourself this: can a single, seasonal song that tried so hard to make a difference back in 1984 do the same in 2004? 2005? 2006? Can an Eighties mindset, never mind a Sixties one, be of any spiritual and pragmatic value, let alone have any positive influence, in this turn of the century? The world seemed to have changed: Communism, if not dead, has transformed itself from a transnational entity to that of a popular protest movement; political and ideological conflicts have been replaced by petty religious and racial conflicts; the haves and have-nots are still at loggerheads with each other; we still have the same robber-barons/philanthropists running all over the world; and Israel is still not getting any respect.

Or maybe, nothing much has really changed, only the packaging.

Maybe we should write a new song altogether. And for God's sake, not another Christmas song.

A post-U.S. Thanksgiving moment...

For all my Yankee viewers, I wish you all a belated Happy Thanksgiving.

And while you're still digesting the turkey, ham, succotash, corn, stuffing, pumpkin and sweet potato pies, meet the man who was the inspiration for Rammstein's song "Mein Teil".

Armin Meiwes had such a good appetite he decided no only to invite other men to his house for dinner: he made them his main course.

Bon Appétit!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Tara Tittie Tease

At a recent P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Dirk Diggler/Whatsisname party, American Beauty Tara Reid let it all hang out.

Until something slipped, and hung out a little more of herself than we're entitled to see.

Big up

Bigger up, Tara.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Who the hell is Sean Hannity? (And why does he deserve to be hated?)

Courtesy of, columnist Chris Davis explores the deep, dark side of one of Amurrica's controversial conservative commentator.

Joe Scarborough, a former Republican congressman from Florida who now hosts MSNBC’s “Scarborough Country,” says the challenge for conservative hosts will be to prove “that we’re more than just the Pravda of the right.” He adds, “I think that’s going to be difficult for some people. I honestly don’t know what Sean Hannity is going to be able to talk about. If you’ve been reading off the Republican National Committee’s talking points like he has for the past four years, it’s going to be hard to be critical of the status quo.” Amen, brother Scarborough. It’s about time someone stood up to this fascist radio host.

I'm already beginning to hate this Sean Hannity guy. And I never even heard him speak.

It appears that this fascist, jackboot-licking, running-dog lackey of U.S. imperial interests is in league with like-minded automatons like the blonde Aryan wench-dominatrix Ann Coulter, inbred oxyxontin junkie Rush Limbaugh and the self-whoring disgrace to the brown-skin race Michelle Malkin. They all want to turn this progressive, peace-love-flower loving nation of placid drones into one big capitalist, imperialist Treblinka state, complete with colour-coded warnings of imaginary threats based on hearsay and rumours. Some people believe that it's on its way, while others believe that it may already be here, only that this socio-political Apocalyse isn't yet noticeable on the surface, eh?

And it's the existence of those genocidal fuckers that makes me grateful for being the citezen of the most enlightened, sacred, progressively Liberal welfare nanny-state of Canada.

A place where 50% of my pay goes to the government to fund programs that most people are too ignorant to be aware of, but I'm sure as hell that they're programs that are needed.

A place where if you intentionally kill someone, you might only have to spend less than 25 years of you life behind bars, enjoying sattelite t.v., 3 square meals a day, a chance at a secondary or post-secondary education and a faint hope of an early release for good behaviour.

A place where if you're a child molester, you can be anonymously placed back into the community after serving hard time.

A place where we don't really need an armed force to protect our sovreignty: just true patriot tender loving care.

And most of all, a place where one can get the World's Bestest Health Care!

But back to the subject at hand, eh?

Mr. Davis proudly espouses things that his beloved Democratic Party belive in, things that we Progressive Canadians take (or want to take) for granted...

(W)e are the party of inclusion. We are the party of compassion, not George W. Bush, a man that titles himself a “compassionate conservative.” We are the party that classifies all people into groups. We’re the people that understand minorities need a helping hand, knowing they couldn’t possibly make it in America on their own. We’re the kind of Americans that believe women have been exploited, and that women like Laura Schlessinger are disgusting for telling them to stay home and raise children. How dare she insult the women of America? How dare she claim they bond with their children, and become a wonderful mother, wife, and lover?

... We must label men like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh as ignorant bigots, because they represent the majority belief in America. We know they threaten our socialistic way of life, our blue states, and our united goal in one, powerful controlling and meddling federal government. We must cast aspersions at women like Ann Coulter, labeling them as angry white women, knowing we have become the party of hate, lies and deception. We are represented by Teresa Heinz Kerry, Barbara Streisand, Whoopi Goldberg, and Howard Dean.

And it all goes on!

I say "Yay!" to Big Liberalism and a Progressive Future!

I say "Yay!" to State Mollycoddling and Intervention on matters such as sushi and those pesky English words on signs in the Enlightened Belle Province du Québec!

And I say "Yay!" to our brave former Prime Minister Jean Chretien, who stood up against that Hitlerite death-camp mongerer George W. Bitch when he waged war against poor, innocent, progressive and freedom-loving leader of the mainly grateful Iraqi children, Saddam Hussein.

Boo on you, USA. Yankee go home. Vive la Liberté. VIVE LA FRANCE!

And boo on you, Hannity!


Sunday, November 21, 2004


The name says it all!

In this year's Grey Cup, it's time to put those B.C. Pussies in their collective place, preferably in a hospital ward!

What Bob O'Billovich did for them in the 80's, Pinball Clemons will achieve this year.

'nuff said. Argos 34 - Pussies 28


UPDATE:: can you say "GAME - SET - MATCH"?

Argos 27 - Punk Ass Rug Candidates 19


Friday, November 19, 2004

What You Don't Know About Salem...

When I was growing up, I watched "Days of Our Lives".

So you might ask, "Jacques, what the Hell?" Well, back then they did have a kick ass storyline about the feud between good guy Roman Brady and his archnemesis Stefano Di Mera.

Personally, I was cheering for the bad guy, played to perfection by Joseph Mascolo. A lot more believable than Wayne Northrop's portrayal of the ill-fated cop in the fictional town of Salem, USA.

Someone in this blogspace still has a soft spot for that little town where hotties such as Jennifer Horton, Hope Brady, Marlena Evans (whatta cougar of a babe!) and Carrie Brady live and breathe. Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities decided to inquire about the characters and the people behind them. For instance...

  • 3 cast members on Jeff's list, including Alison Sweeney who plays über-biatch Sami Brady (another hottie!), spent their X-mas holidays with US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan;

  • 5 cast members, including Kirsten Storms (Belle Black) and Melissa Reeves (neé Brennan, Jennifer Horton-Devereaux) happen to be Evangelical Christians. So much for any potential hot, intense 3-way action with Belle and Jen;

  • John Aniston (Victor Kiriakis) is the father of ex-"Friends" hottie Jennifer. He also used to be a naval intelligence officer. WTF, Vic?

  • Bill Hayes (Doug Williams, father of Hope) had a hit song in the 50's with "The Ballad of Davey Crockett".

It's there are some more interesting tidbits that Jeff dug up. Now if I could start getting back into watching this series again, maybe I could find out what the fuck happened to my Salem...

Oh... and where the fuck's Carrie?

Ohhh... Those Fucking Liberals Again!!

2 things that make me so pissed off at liberals:
  1. John "I know what Blacks like" Sylvester: this Übergenius at Madison, WI's WTDI-AM ranted about Condoleeza Rice's political ambitions. And, guess what, Munchkins: he played a Card...

    Sly (not an apt nickname, is it - Mr. Jacques), the on-air name for John Sylvester, told WTDY-AM (1670) morning show listeners that Rice, who is black, bought her way into the White House with obedience to President Bush.
    "I'm not apologizing for what I said," Sylvester said Thursday in an interview. "I stand by it.

    "I was aiming that directly at a black person that is letting himself (and herself) be used by an administration that has been extremely hostile to minorities," he said.

    "Being subservient and being a black role model are two different things. I think (Rice) has not only been bad for the country and for national security, but I think she's been a bad black role model.

    "I don't think being subservient to white people and not blowing the whistle on their misdoings is a good role model at all."

    So he thinks he knows what the Black Peoples thinks, doesn't he? Not so, says Michael King, who just happens to be - wait for it - Black.

    IMO: President Rice? President Powell? Hmmmm... It all depends on who's side you think you're on.

    There is a bit of Orwell's "Animal Farm"/"1984" newspeak in contemporary liberal commentary these days: Jesse Jackson="good boy" / Condoleeza Rice="bad girl" (can't get myself to use that dayum N-word, Nigga!) As usual, the "4 legs good, 2 legs good" metaphorism reigns supreme in the wonderful world of punditry, and the world continues to feel less better for that.

  2. "DING DONG - THE BITCH IS (POLITICALLY) DEAD": in my World of Oz, Member of Parliament Carolyn Parrish is currently wishing she had used Dr. Scholl's foot powder before inserting said foot in mouth.

    For those without a clue, Ms. Parrish is the Liberal politician/automaton famous for saying "Damn Americans, I hate the bastards" in front of a national t.v. audience, and has done a good job in baiting our Neighbours to the South.

    Unfortunately, she may have bitten off more than she could chew when she did a skit on the CBC's "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" and stomped on a George Bush doll. After being reprimanded by our boy-wonder PM, she said the following:

    "Every time he gets up and reprimands me, be it ever so gentle, it just feeds it and he looks like he can't control me, which he can't.

    "If he loses the next election and he has to resign, I wouldn't shed a tear over it.

    "I have absolutely no loyalty to this team -- none."

    That, along with a whole bunch of other shite as a result of a hyperactive mouth, outspoken synapses and occasional outbursts of pediphagy, hurt the Boy-Wonder's feelings, so Ms. Parrish got the proverbial heave-ho.

    Not that she would have any regrets, though. The problem is that not even the socialist New Democratic Party could tolerate an outspoken activist of Parrish's calibre.

    So she stands alone, even though she would vote with the Liberal minority government "90 per cent of the time". Meanwhile, she should start on her resumé real soon. She'll need it.
Damn Liberals.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

A 9/11 Hangover from a New York POV

Here's something that I stumbled upon over at

It's a nice little screed form a Native New Yorker about the fallout from 9/11.

It simply tells everyone to "fuck off and get on with living".

On heroic New Yorkers...

Sure you've got the real heroes, like the Police and the Fire Dept, but please, don't include me, and the vast majority of New York in that category as well. When those two buildings came down, you did not see the entire state of New York running into the crumbling buildings to drag people out. No, You saw us running the other fucking direction. But for some reason though, the media decided that EVERY New Yorker was a hero. Yes, even that fool that hid behind a pizza stand and screamed the entire time. HE WAS THE COOLEST HERO EVER. Oh, and me? I stayed the fuck in my house and prayed no one would violently loot the neighborhood. I AM A HERO.


Go talk to other countries. See why they don’t have heroes and stuff, and you never hear about their attacks and their many heroes that got blown to bits. Because it’s an everyday occurrence over there. If they had memorials and and vigils for every attack, nobody would ever get anything done over there. It would be like an hourly thing. They all pretty much know by now that any person with a bomb can just fuck up their day at any point. But they don’t whine and run around like spazzes. They get on with their lives and make fun of us for being scared of everything. They stick that shit out and go to McDonalds. And WE'RE heroes? I think not.

On New York parking lots...

While the prices of these places, depending on the relative demand, will vary on a daily basis, they are never anything but eye-bleedingly expensive. The owners of these lots and garages know exactly how valuable a commodity it is they control, and they know that you have a choice between paying them with your blood and soul, or parking in Connecticut. Every square foot of land is like tarry black gold, so they'll pack their helpless victim's cars in four and five deep. This means that not only will you be signing over the deed to your house to afford the parking fees, but you'll have to wait several hours while the utterly apathetic foreigners in charge of the joint dig your car out from under the pile of SUV's.

And on the subject of the "new" Times Square...

Once a sleazy, shady pit of vice that personified New York's aura of danger, edginess, toughness and rough, cheap sex, the great whore of Times Square has been tamed by the cash-green cock of Mickey Mouse, laid bare and sallow for the weak seed of obese tourists from the Midwest who walk the streets without fear or respect for the former den of decay and crime. The sex on Times Square is utterly commercialized now, pale Calvin Klein models desperate to be sexy in a landscape bereft of teeth or edge, leaving the place feeling spiritually vacant, lifeless even though it is nearly always filled to overflowing.

Anyways, check it out. And resume your life on hold.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Remember Us!

Too many people tend to forget the hardships and sacrifices involved in keeping the peace.

The same people have no clue how and why we have the good life that we take for granted.

Sometimes, a price has to be paid for all the best that this life on earth has to offer.

So before you launch into another singalong of "Give Peace a Chance", think about those people who have to fight for it.

Thank a vet.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

To the Wrong: leave those X-tians alone, eh?

Ya' gotta love the Wrong.

They seem to think that they want to be morally superior to their Right Wing counterparts in terms of compassion and charity.

Too bad that they never look beyond their own limted, suffocating paradigms. My favourite bald middle-aged man Michael Coren gives out a couple of examples to shatter the Wrong's perception of the X-tian Rightists.

Maybe not all X-tians aren't that loony after all. Check this article out right here.

Respect to One Dirty Bastard

The Once and Future Wu Tang Clansman Ol' Dirty Bastard died in a recording studio. He was 35.

This is one Bastard we'll surely miss! Respect.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

What's so fucked-up with this picture?

This poor, misbegotten fucktard named David Welch was sentenced to 90 days in jail for scrawling "All women are filthy fucking whores ... die all women ... kill all women."

Former Georgian College student David Welch, 29, of Richmond Hill, was sentenced in Barrie court to 90 days in jail, to be served intermittently so he can keep his job as a bouncer.
Ohhh... poor little muffin. But this gets a little more interesting...

In 1993, Welch was charged with the murder of his grandmother after he beat her to death with a candlestick holder while he was under the influence of LSD. The charge was later reduced to manslaughter and he was sentenced to 5 1/2 years in prison. He was also convicted in 1993 of pointing a firearm at a female friend.
So why is this thing still out on the streets?

Any answers?

Friday, November 05, 2004

For all my American friends who voted for Kerry

I would really love to help you out, but the Toronto Sun's Thane Burnett has a better way.

If you can't beat us, Hell, might as well join us.

heh heh heh

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Politics Make People Stupid: an appeal to Blogs on the Left and Right

All the ballots have been counted, speeches have been made and tears shed, but the Left and Right are still fighting in the post-electoral rubble.

Both sides have made their points and the people have spoken.

Yet, there's some pathological form of hating that's seething about, fingers pointing to people pointing to those pointing at them.

Accusations of fraud, sabotage, subversion and perversion get tossed between the 2 tribes, obscuring the issues, impeding reconciliation and usurping dialogue, all in the name of righteousness of the side of choice.

The election is over, you dummies. The dirt you toss at each other is no longer of any use, as it's best before date has since been past.

Now is the time for new issues, not the tired rhetoric that plagued the Left and Right Blogs.

No more Swift Boats. No more National Guard excuses. No more Haliburton conspiracies. It's all over and all overdone.

Go back to the real world. Try to live in the here and now for the sake of tomorrow. Go and live the life you lived before the election and realise that the sun still rises and sets, that the winds still blows and that the trains and cusses that you commute on still stuggle to run on time.

Worry about the traffic you have to face while driving to work. Worry about the price of coffee and the price of gas. Worry about what to have for lunch, snack and dinner, and whether your fridge is stocked enough to feed you for another week.

Take action on your finances, taxes and health - they have and always will remain constant, no matter who's running the country and who's fighting whom.

In other words, get a life and find another Quixotic windmill to challenge, a dragon to slay, a suitor to rescue and a hobby to keep you grounded.

IN OTHER NEWS: I'll be on exercise for the next 2 weeks. Don't expect too much change on this Blog.

Stay Clean!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Four more years of Bush, eh? THANK GOD!

Thank God that the campaign's over.

Thank God that John Kerry conceded his defeat.

Thank God Americans are blessed with a reliable leader, even though he's not really that perfect nor is more in tuned to what's going on in the street.

Thank God W didn't rub dirt in his enemies' faces in his victory speech.

And thank God, he even acknowledged those who voted against him and invited them to help rebuild it even further.

Thank God... people can get on with their lives once more.

Too bad that 4 years can, and will pass by real fast.

Don't fuck up your second term, George.

'nuff said!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

(The Bollywood Remix)

Who said there ain't such a thing as "flying monkeys". In Gauhati, India, where supposedly, all life is scared amongst some of the populace, local kids are getting their asses whipped by a bunch of temple monkeys.
"They hide in trees and swoop on unsuspecting children loitering about in the temple premises or walking by, clawing them and even sucking a bit of blood," Bani Kumar Sharma, a priest at the Kamakhya temple in Assam state, said.
Bright little buggers, aren't they: they must've been watching filmi such as "The Wizard of Oz" and "The Birds".
"I was returning home from school when a monkey suddenly pounced on me, scratched my head and hand and pushed me to the ground," said Jolly Sharma, a six-year-old girl.
Not-so-Jolly might have left out the part when said simian gangsta ran off with her lunch money...
Monkeys are often found in tens of thousands of temples across India. They are seen as a symbol of Hanuman, the monkey god, and devotees visiting temples often feed them. While occasional attacks by monkeys are not uncommon at temples, the sudden surge in attacks at the Gauhati temple has experts perplexed.
Maybe their Parliament should consider "workfare" for these freeloaders?

Happy 62nd Birthday, Larry Flint!

Hustler's head honcho is currently kicking back in Gai Paris, but is a tad concerned about the big bad election back home in the U - S - of - A...

Flynt said he feared the re-election of President Bush would lead to an erosion of civil liberties, citing the 2001 anti-terrorism Patriot Act.

"I hope that the undecided really will raise the question of personal freedoms before voting, but personally, I feel sick thinking of four more years of Bush in charge," he said.

And just to think that this man would love "Bush" a lot!

The high price of swimming against the tide.

A great nephew of infamous painter Vincent van Gogh was slain in Amsterdam, allegedly because he made a movie critical of Muslim treatment of women.

A suspect was arrested after a shootout with officers that left him wounded, police said. Filmmaker Theo van Gogh had been threatened after the August airing of the movie Submission, which he made with a right-wing Dutch politician who had renounced the Islamic faith of her birth.

Van Gogh had received police protection after its release. Dutch national broadcaster NOS and other media reported van Gogh's killer shot and stabbed his victim and left a note on his body.

There are many Dutch politicians who have shown concern about immigration from Islamic countries and the potential for these immigrants to assimilate into Dutch society. van Gogh had some conservative bent at the time of his death, making controversial movies that were in line of his beliefs.

The last film was done with the help of a Somali-born politician who left Islam because of the faith's treatment of women.

The short television film Submission aired on Dutch television in August, enraged the Muslim community in the Netherlands.

It told the fictional story of a Muslim woman forced into a violent marriage, raped by a relative and brutally punished for adultery.


Somali-born Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a member of the Dutch parliament, has repeatedly outraged fellow Muslims by criticizing Islamic customs and the failure of Muslim families to adopt Dutch ways.


Needless to say, the spiritually illiterate will eventually have to come to terms with the shrinking world. The more they stall, more blood will be shed.

Monday, November 01, 2004

A very Hallowe'en Triple Header at the Marquee

I don't go out too often these days... money is too tight, bills have to be paid, food and smokes and booze are getting too damn expensive.

But a triple bill featuring Limblifter, Auf der Maur and Matthew Good was too freaking good to pass up, so I decided to head out to the Marquee Club to check them out.

In very short order...
  1. Limblifter: Left Coast rockers (remnants of Age of Electric, FTWK) left a pretty good impression on the Haligonians in the place. Did a couple of tunes off their latest release, I/O. Abbreviated "Wake Up to the Sun" due to time constraints (the intro to that song on the CD is awesome). Should see more of them real soon.

  2. Auf der Maur: Melissa Auf der Maur has been compared to Lee Aaron by many Can-Rawk rawk-ficionados. When I asked her about the similarities she told me that she didn't know who Aaron is, which was a bit of a letdown - damn generation gap. I also asked her if she had ever seen the video for "Metal Queen". She hoarsely replied that she would check it out. I didn't mention Blinker the Star to her. Maybe next time.
    By the way... great set in spite of frog in throat.

  3. Matthew Good: good show - pun not intended - from vet Vancouverite. Managed to drop in some MGB nuggets in addition to a short spoken word performance of Hamid Karzai's corporate past. Sadly, I left before he launched into "Weapon" - a little past my bedtime, eh? I'll stick around for his next show in this neck of wood.
Best $30 ever spent. Extra $50 went to getting CD's (Auf der Maur's self-titled debut, Limblifter's "I/O" and MG's "White Light Rock & Roll Review"). Another $40 was spent on cab, drinks and the best damn slice of pizza anywhere ($4 - yeah, it's expensive, but worth every cent and bite).

Catch any of these people if/when they drop by. Live music RAWKS!

How do you spell "white elephant" in Québec? M-I-R-A-B-E-L

Last international passenger flight leaves Mirabel airport, future uncertain: courtesy of CNEWS.

The sprawling complex 40 kilometres north of Montreal faces an uncertain fate after being billed the airport of the future when it was opened amid great fanfare in 1975...

... When the airport opened, officials at the time predicted 60 million passengers would pass through the glass, steel and concrete structure annually by 2010, but yearly passenger traffic never surpassed three million.

Roads to Mirabel, 40 kilometres north of Montreal, were left underdeveloped, a proposed rail link never got off the ground and thousands of displaced residents bemoaned federal expropriation of their land.

The government expropriated more than 324 square kilometres of prime farmland but only used 16 square kilometres for the airport. A total of 10,000 people had been forced from their homes.

If that doesn't say anything about government short-sightedness, what else can?


Saturday, October 30, 2004


"It is believed that there is the possibility that human remains were fed to pigs," says the report prepared earlier this year by a branch of Health Canada.

"This poses no known risks to the food supply. The viruses . . . - hepatitis B and C, HIV and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, tuberculosis - do not cross the species barrier and would be inactivated by the pig digestive system."

Well... thanks a fucking lot, Health Canada. Now I can sleep easier that the pork shoulder that I ate in Victoria a couple of years back didn't taste like skank!

Maybe weapons-grade plutonium is also safe for kids, right? Right?


"Teach your children well..."

If there was any doubt that the old "land for peace" policy started by the late Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Perez was a bad idea, this link should banish it right away.

If there was any doubt that hate was by nurture rather than nature, check the link.

If you think that leaders can fuck children up just as bad if not worse than the worst pedophile, the link is proof positive that hate indoctrination is child abuse.

Fuck the Jihad! No more land for peace!

Shabbat Shalom!

And Happy Hallowe'en!

(Thanks to my good fiends at the Rottweiler and LGF.)

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Politics makes people stupid in West Palm Beach

Liberals don't have a monopoly on moonbat-ism

Dopey Steven Soper, a Bush supporter, was alleged to have attacked his girlfriend over a Kerry vote.

Soper began pushing and shoving 18-year-old Stacey Silviera Tuesday night when she came to his house to return some of his personal items, deputies said.

"I kill you," he said, according to the arrest report. "You want (to) live to see the election?"

He held her with a screwdriver and a shard from a broken pot while a deputy tried to separate them, said Paul Miller, a spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

The girlfriend broke free and the deputy used a Taser on Soper.

Democracy in action, ain't it?