Sunday, December 05, 2004

Oh, Joanie Laurer... how could you? (WARNING: XXX-PLICIT CONTENT!)

Way back in the day, Chyna was at the top of her game as the "Ninth Wonder of the World" in the World Wrestling Federation (a.k.a. the WWE). Having freed herself from the clutches of the evil Triple H, Chyna had to prove herself to the rest to the "rasslin'" world that she was the real thing... a woman who could go toe-to-toe, face-to-face against anyone in the ring.

Love her or hate her, you have to give Joanie Laurer a whole whack of respect for going up against all comers, regardless of gender, regardless of attitude.

Fast-foward to the here and now: there had been rumours going around that Joanie and X-Pac, a.k.a. the 1-2-3 Kid, a.k.a. Sean Waltman had made a little... video together. And somehow, someone got a hold of it.

And I thought it was just another tabloid-urban myth-bullshit rap, until I touched down at and stumbled onto this article where I would up seeing more of her anatomy than I could ever care to see.

Of course, since we're in an era of constantly loosening standards, that vid will soon be heading to "adult" video stores pretty soon. It's titled "1 Night In China" (sic). Well, maybe "1 Night Inside Chyna" would be more appropriate, since the company, Red Light District Video prides itself on being "The #1 Name in Hardcore Gonzo Video". The reasoning behind this cunning stunt goes like this...

"The video was something that my boyfriend and I taped for our own personal pleasure," explained Laurer. "However, when it got into an outside party's hands, I said, 'I'll make a preemptive strike and release the video myself.' Besides, I'm proud of my performance in the video and feel confident that my fans throughout the world will love it."

After meeting with Red Light District Video's President, David Joseph, Laurer was certain that Red Light District was the company that she wanted to distribute her movie. "Red Light [District Video] is the only company that I would want to distribute this movie. David is a wonderful person and the success of the Paris Hilton video is evidence that they know how to market and sell a Celebrity-driven sex video," said Laurer.
That's right... Red Light's other claim to fame was the pirating and distribution of Paris Hilton's original video performance. Somehow, that little slip sort of boosted her stock in the mainstream celebrity scene.

Would Chyna's latest video escapade be able to do the same wonders for Joanie Laurer as "1 Night In Paris" did for Ms. Hilton?

Let me put it to you this way: would any guy be man enough to fellate Chyna?


No comments: