Saturday, August 28, 2004

One Sick Fuck

Montreal stepfather charged with sexually assaulting 10-year-old girl: No comment on that vile piece of shit.

Being the amateur Sherlock that I am, this guy definitely married for the sex.

Not necessarily with the wife, though.

NEXT...

Friday, August 27, 2004

The Cock and Bull: "Kerry awarded fourth Purple Heart for latest sacrifice"

Thank G-d it's just a joke.

Or is it?

Let's get this Aliant strike over with, already!

This is the strike that never ends... I can imagine what the negotiations would look like...

Gov't: I have tabled a new proposal for you. It may not be exactly what you wanted, but it'll give you what you need.

Union: Unacceptable... we're still concerned about our job security and benefits.

Gov't: But this is the final offer. This strike has gone on too long and we must reach an agreement as soon as...

Union: No! Your plan sucks!

Gov't: No, it doesn't.

Union: Yes, it does. And you suck, too.

Gov't: No. You suck!

Union: You suck and swallow!

Gov't: That's not fair. You suck!

Union: Fuck you!

Gov't: No... FUCK YOU!!

Etc., etc., etc. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Ad nauseam.

Why can't we all get along? Do the right thing, you idiots.

Just don't call them French, eh?

The Celtic Bretons live on the peninsula that juts out into the English Channel. They were subject to various persecutions including a moratorium (read: ban)on their music, culture and language (which, by the way, is very harsh on the eyes if you try to read it). But nowadays, Breton culture is fighting back as Western Europe's sole Celtic representative. "An Tour Tan" ("The Lighthouse") contains links to various Breton events and is the home of this year's "Cyber Fest-Noz" (a Breton cyber-ceilidh). Drop in. Warning: it is en Français and e Brezhoneg!

If you really want to know about the Israel conflict...

Look no further.

All the mainstream media seem to focus on those "poor" Palestinians.

Boo hoo hoo.

And yet there doesn't seem to be another side of the story.

Jared Israel would like to show the world that side. So here it is.

Hari Krishnan, Hari Krishnan... drop the fucking gun!

Nothing was fair for the brothers Nair,
So they planned to get Johnny right out of their hair.
When they went to meet Fleet, John Fleet said "Holy Sheet!"
"A gun in a fistfight ain't fair!"

So endeth the lesson.

NEXT...

Chief Parrot-head a closet Snowbird?

Somewhere in Margaritaville, Bud the Spud is pining for the bright red mud of Prince Edward Island.

And elsewhere in the Great White North, Jimmy Buffet is still searching for his lost shaker of salt along with Big Joe Mufferaw.

What the hell? I'm eating there!

You have to admit that NS is a beautiful place in the summertime.

And while we still have the good weather, it's a great opportunity to check out the little places that make this province great.

And by the look of the lobster in that picture, I think dinner at this restaurant may not be a bad idea at all.

DROOL!

I wonder if T-Dot should adopt curfews? A CBC article...

Given all the stupid shit (i.e. assaults, b'n'es, rapes, murders) done by kids these days, why not give it a shot?

A "Crystal Method" you wouldn't want to experience.

Crystal meth, along with cocaine, is what I call an "idiot's" drug: we all know the dangers and the risks in doing it, but people still do it anyway.

I've seen people who were both tweaked and coming-down from jib. Not a fucking pretty sight - the more they bump, the more they want.

Of course, when you're completely sloshed out of your skull after 3-5 drinks at the local tavern, you wouldn't know a jibbernaut from a roller, a basehead or a bunner. Maybe that's why I don't go out that often these days.

Proof that he wanted a "suicide-by-cop"?

CBC News: Tape of plans found in Toronto hostage-taker's car: This sick pup was in dire need of some help. Someone didn't listen. Now I suspect that he got his wish.

Well - no shit, Sherlock!

CBC News: Explosives traces found at Russian plane crash site: When you consider that the 'Skis are having some "issues" in Chechnya/Ishkeria as well as in other far-flung parts of their empire, I wouldn't be too surprised if Osama bin ABadLaddie wanted to pull another 9/11 with the vodkaholics.

And when you consider the fact that the FSB is a descendant of the KGB/NKVD/Che-Ka, I think that bin Latrine will have an extra headache to contend with. Provided that he still has a head to do the contending.

You sure she's not NDP?

CBC News: Parrish sticks by 'idiot' comment: I do believe in the freedom of speech, especially amongst people who happen to be elected as our representatives in Parliament.

But I thinks that Carolyn Parrish should really be a bit more diplomatic when it comes to touchy subjects.

Methinks she should lay off the tequila a bit, take two aspirins and apologize in the morning.

That should do it. Otherwise, she's a dumbass.

Dumbass.

Say it ain't fucking so, Paris!

Paris Hilton to publish 198-page memoir: I didn't know she could write, let alone spell her first name.

She may have a little technical trouble getting her project off the ground. Rumour has it that she had to replace her computer monitor several times.

It seemed that she couldn't get the white-out off the screens...

The freedom of CHOI

Those PC-fascists over at the CRTC are detemined to shut off Quebec City radio station CHOI over some jokes made in poor taste. But, G-d willing, cooler heads should prevail during the hearings deciding its fate.

Last time I checked, stupidity isn't a crime, and it's curable. Do the right thing, CRTC. Or else!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

"Gunman shot by police sniper" - SBC?

This fellow's family left him and were in midst of divorce procedures.

That tells you something.

While Metro's finest did the right thing for everyone, did they also do the right thing for this man?

We may never know.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Wasn't Kirsten Dunst MY girl????!?

Us North Americans and our celebrities - we can't live with them: we can't live without them.

Makes me want to get a drink!

NEXT...

Sunday, August 15, 2004

The Myth of Woodstock...

It was 35 years ago today when the masses congregated on Max Yasgur's farm in upstate New York. Three days of peace, love, hope and mind-blowing rock-and-roll (with some mind-altering substances thrown in for good measure).

Too bad that everything, given that all things being equal, had to come to an end. The world has become more dangerous, blacks and whites don't eat together much as they used to, and the various tribes that gathered on the farm in solidarity against "the Man" now want to kill each other (see "Woodstock 99").

Maybe it was Woodstock that changed the world's liberal politics - everyone in the political sphere wanted to appease each and every one of those 500k-plus bodies that were there. And maybe that's why modern liberalism is such a clusterfuck at the moment - everyone wanted to be a modern hippie, but they're ignoring the world's realities a little too much. The Toronto Sun's Thane Burnett interviewed a few people for his article in order to shed light on the storied festival, and why there might never be another one, at least in our lifetime.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Is it just me...

Or are the Olsen sisters starting to look real good to me?

Just wondering...

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Hot enough for ya', eh?

God love the Olympians.

In the land of souvlaki, ouzo and the flaming saganaki, it seems that the jocks are having a ball.

Then you have the bad puns...


"Games officials have accepted a donation from Durex of 130,000 condoms for athletes," Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix writes. "I fear this could start another Trojan War."


Okay... NEXT!

"Trudeaupia": why didn't I think about that, eh?

Ahhh... life is all beautiful here in Trudeaupia (formerly Canada), except that there are evil forces about, especially the politically incorrect CHOI-FM. Will things get better in the land, or will people start to smarten up and get a life?

Tune in.

Planned Parenthood Action Fund: The Adventures of Choice Chick

This looks like a very bad SNL T.V. Funhouse sketch. But it's not.

As much as I support choice, watching this makes me feel - uh - reactionary.

For any sensible person: get a barf bag, just in case.

The Disposable Wisdom of "Beautiful Atrocities"

Say what you will... conservatives can be funny.

Give Peace a Chance? Take a Chance on a Piece?

Courtesy (via several clicks) of PIC blog "Merde in France": some peacekeepers in one of the Congoes have been accused of obtaining a piece of their own while maintaining peace.

What's wrong with this picture?

While the whole world - er... universe - wailed against the excesses over at Abu Gharib, they've iggied this issue. Was it because it took place in Africa?

Remember Rwanda? Nobody seemed to give a fuck except for us Canucks and Belgians. Was it because it was that brutal and insane, or that it was just Brutha's and Sista's doing it to each other, so why the fuck should we care because they'll breed again like rabbits anyways?

Dunno... it's just one of those things that get me steamed once in a while...

Is this how the world is still going to end?

So anyways... courtesy of a post in torontojungle.com, here's a deranged little flash offering for all you comfortably numb paranoiacs.

Sleep tight, kiddies.

Is John Ray the "Hardest Working Man in Blogspace"?

His "Political Correctness Watch" is one of many projects. While I don't agree with all of his comments, Mr. Ray has made some pretty good commentary and essays, mainly on the blurred line between the Left and the Right.

But no fucking Centre? Where is it?

Check it out.

"HITLER WAS A SOCIALIST"

Hmmmm... does that mean that Stephen Harper may be... naaaah!

An Auschwitz Alphabet

If you had to ask, you might as well visit.

No sugar coating. No bullshit. No illusions.

Just words and facts.

That's all.

A Right Hook to the Left

The people over at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler don't throw punches.

You might say that their barks and bites are equally bad.

You might say that they're rude, crude and politically incorrect.

You might even say that they should be run off the 'net for some inappropriate comments about Liberals, Muslims, French, and anyone else Left of their conservative-libertarian centre.

I say they have the balls to say whatever the Hell they want to say.

I say amen to that.

Like their commentary on a recent attack on Israeli students at Auschwitz by a bunch of louts from France. (Sorta makes me ashamed of being French, but that's another story for another time, eh?)

Just be aware of one thing... the language and the responses to the Rottweiler's postings may be a little bit crude, but that's free speech for you!

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The Onion's got the Beat

For all you fans of Japanese psycho cult flick "Battle Royale", "Beat" Takeshi Kitano gets interviewed by the people over at the Yankee psycho cult 'zine the Onion. Through a translator, he talks about the creative process, yadda yadda yadda, and his latest offering to an unsuspecting world, "Zatoichi". Renaissance man? Madman? You decide.

antiMUSIC's Chuck DiMaria writes: "Too Young To Rock"

With the proliferation of teenie-bopper pop and rawk overloading the commercial airwaves, Chuck DiMaria explains vis-à-vis youngsters like JoJo and Ashlee (Jessica's li'l sis) Simpson...

<... snip ...>

"Look, I don't know about you, but I'm scared.

And now the thirteen-year-olds are coming out onto the charts? You know, it takes a while to write, record and put out an album, let alone push the deal through all the different levels of a record company, so it stands to reason that the kid was probably younger than that when they inked the deal.

Which means this kid was eleven or twelve years old when this whole thing started? First off, that's way too young to be in that far over your head.

Secondly, what is the logic behind this growing trend to make sex symbols out of little girls? Are we now becoming a nation of pedophiles?"

<... snip ...>

Maybe someone is after our money - and they're using our kids to get at it.

I doubt that JoJo is singing to us 25-45 freaks, but what's with putting her on high rotation?

Unless the age of consent in the U.S. is repealed, I will not stand for such child exploitation. No wonder we're not getting any good rawking in the airwaves these days. ARRRGH!

What's next... beer for pre-schoolers... cigarettes and scotch for 6th-graders... teen erotic thrillers?

It's all about money - YOURS. Be aware! Beware!

Monday, August 09, 2004

Omigawd - it's McLusky

Imagine if Blink 182 were a bunch of Welsh lager louts on the verge of strangling Sum41's Deryck because he did a little diddling with Avril©, whom they covet so much. Meet McLusky. And while you're at it, you can also check out their labelmates at Too Pure (their U.K. label). Will they be the lads who'll save rock 'n roll? Your answer might lie right here. Enjoy.

Losing your head to get attention...

So buddy gets all his friends together, tosses back a couple of brews, sets up his camcorder, adds a little CGI and voilà! Your garden variety Jihad decapitation.

Talk about getting a-head in life!

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Will Vince Carter slam-dunk us in the end.

SLAM! Sports - Basketball Toronto Raptors - Raps star triggers emotions: a long time ago I thought that Vince Carter would energize the Raptors. The problem was that everyone wanted to put all the pressure on him and get a free ride in the process.

That sucks, mainly because Vince is only human.

Nowadays that kind of honeymoon is over - the Raptors are slowly going the way of the Lakers - all ball hogging, all egos, no cohesion. If the Raptors want to keep Vince Carter in their roster, they have to start playing as a team.

As for Vince... he has to start playing as part of the team, not as a star.

Given last season's performance, if the Raptors don't get their shit together, they would be losing more than a coach: they'll be losing Vince.

I'm giving the team and Vince one more chance in the upcoming season. If nothing works out, Vince should get the heave-ho because the team wouldn't desrve him.

Or vice-versa.

Monday, August 02, 2004

A fun way to waste your time...

slick.org has a whole bunch of fun pages to while away on your desktop, but it's celebrity deathwatch seems to be the main attraction. Hop on over to check it out.