Saturday, April 30, 2005

Eat Yer Heart Out, Donald:
"The Sith Apprentice"

Courtesy of "": sample Sithy dialogue...
Jar-Jar: Mee-sa fired?

Darth Sidious: No. You-sa fried!
I just can't wait for the rest of the story...

Friday, April 29, 2005

File Under "No Shit, Sherlock" -
Max Weinreb: "Canada should abolish democracy"

The scariest part of Max Weinreb's column is that it's all true.

It's like we're living right inside The Matrix: we know that something's terribly wrong, but at the same time we're all self-absorbed in our lives and selfishness that that we'd only give an acknowledging glance and scowl, then we vote the fuckers back into office because a) we're afraid of the unknown; b) we're so used to it, so why rock the boat; c) none of the other parties are any better; or d) we don't know of any other party. It's like taking the Blue Pill every 4 years - we may be Copper-Tops, but we rather be happy than free.

Option "d" seems to be the most plausible. Aside from an 8-year Progressive Conservative respite in the 80s, we've been a Liberal-Trudeaucracy since 1963 when Lester B. Pearson defeated Tory John Diefenbaker. Do the math - that's almost 34 years under Liberal Red.

I grew up in these deluded times - to me, Trudeau, for all his opportunism and arrogance, made the Canada that the world currently recognises: accomodating, docile, idealistic. In many ways, we embarrass the French in that aspect, because we do most our business in English.

Many years ago, Canada pursued its own foreign policies influenced by its own interests. Today, that influence is coming from the U.N.

Because we have become so dependant on the U.N. for our existence, the government's decisions have helped prop up dictatorships in Cuba, North Korea, China and Saddam's Iraq, emasculated our Armed Forces to a point in which minor war vessels, manned by reservists, have to undertake potentially stressful and dangerous missions (a metal minesweeper - think about it, eh?), and burdened the taxpayers with high levies on income, goods and services.

And with every election, the Liberals would pollish up their commercials and bribe the electorate with elaborate promises that conveniently get forgotten in the end. Not that anyone would care - the level of comfortable numbness has been preserved, at least until the next election.

And you wonder why we're saddled with Paulyanna. Don't hold your breath in the upcoming election.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Going Hollywood -
Straight Outta Sunnyvale

Veteran director and producer Ivan Reitman has decided to look after the upcoming "Trailer Park Boys" film.

Can you imagine Ricky swearing his fucking brains out in pure, unadulterated THX fury over in L.A?

Can you imagine the ultimate Chris Brothers product placement showing up in, say, Austin, TX?

Can you imagine Randy's big-ass belly taking up the silver screen in Buffalo, NY?

On the other hand... disregard that last part.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


Ilanaaq: Vancouver Winter Olympics' new mascot.
Ilanaaq. Man? Animal? Vegetable?
Mineral? Mascot?

If Vancouver, BC is holding the Winter Olympics, why is it using an Inuit sculpture instead of a characature drawn up by one of its own indigenous groups?

I understand that inukshuks and inunnguaqs (Google them if you're clueless), originally used as Arctic road signs, are the rage in this part of world.

But why the fuck are they being used to promote a purely BC event?

I've seen fine examples of Salish and Haida art in and around Victoria, and I'm more than impressed by the vivid lines and colours that create representations of men and beasts. Why have the organizers forsaken them?
Grand Chief Edward John of the First Nations Summit said some native leaders were so upset with the logo they were prepared to walk out of the unveiling ceremony.

"First Nations in British Columbia helped sway the Olympic selection committee," John told the Canadian Press.

"One of the first important acts the [Vancouver 2010] committee did was kind of a slight on the support of First Nations."
Indeed. One must wonder what kind of herbs and spices were the members of the Olympis commitee taking when they decided upon the inukshuk?

The National Post's Joseph Brean has another take on the controversy right here.


Colour Me "Un-Surprised"

It's deja-voodoo all over again.

Way back in the dark years of the Seventies, a man by the name of Pierre Elliot Trudeau was stuck in the same kind of predicament that everyone's favourite Prime Minister, Paul Martin is currently experiencing: a Liberal minority government beset by hostile foes.

Faced with political extinction, PET decided to forego a coalition with either Robert Stanfield's Progressive Conservatives or Réal Caouette's Social Creditists and started to invite David Lewis's New Democrats to help him out.

Never mind that vitually most of the Liberals' political platform had been jacked from the NDP's agenda. Then, as it is today, both parties are virtually indistinguishable except for the wording of their respective promises.

The plan worked for Trudeau. His regime survived for a few extra months until Lewis, supposedly tired of playing second-fiddle to the fuddle-duddle bourgeois hippie-wannabe, decided to bolt out of the arrangement.

This time, it's Paulyanna's turn to accept a deal with the Devil that the Liberals know best and has welcomed Jack Layton's NDP into a partnership that may mean a reversal on some government policies - roughly the same type of move that might welcome back ex-Grit MP Carolyn Parrish back into the Grit fold.

It is a bit of an odd couple alliance: bourgeois shipping magnate Martin shacking up with rabble rousing ex-Toronto city councillor/perennial failed mayoral candidate Layton. Just like the seventies.

Onece more with a feeling: Paulyanna loves being Prime Minister. Just because.

Well... Excusez mon anglais, b'y!

You gotta love those Cape Bretoners!

Honest. In your face. Tough.

And sometimes just damn wack!

Scott Thompson and Jason Beaton, 2 young men from Port Hawkesbury, were in Korea teaching English to the natives when they decided to head out for a bit of Down-Home Drinkin' at a nearby bar.

Somehow, they also brought some of their own Down-Home culture with them as well, as noted by the local constables who busted them after a brawl.
The fight between the Canadians and three Korean men can be blamed on cultural differences and the language barrier... A misunderstanding escalated into a confrontation.
Whatever. Too bad they didn't blame it on the rain.

Yet Another Assumption Of What Makes Me "Me"

American Cities That Best Fit Y-2-DRAY:

70% Austin

55% Atlanta

55% Denver

55% Washington, DC

45% Chicago

I'd definitely go for Atlanta. Sorry, Boca.

How Moonbats Call the Shots:
"What happened to our tsunami aid?"

Being in the miltary - especially the Canadian miltary - is a very thankless job.

You get shot at. You risk serious personal injury. You get violently seasick. You risk infection from diseases with horrifically unpronounceable names.

But for all the trouble, you'd still get no respect.

Especially from the sheeple in the media, most of them with hippie-critical ideals about helping others and the means to do so.

And sometimes, even the government is getting into the act.

Right about now, we Canadians have donated CDN$400-million to the tsunami cause, yet not much money has been spent. So what's going on here?

Read the link. Refrain from putting fist through PC.

Refrain From Destroying Monitor:
Paulyanna Punks Vets!

Pity poor Paulyanna.

Knee-deep in a pile of political poop, Paulyanna decides to stay at home to ensure that he keeps his precious job as Prime Minister.

Because Paulyanna loves being the Prime Minister so much, he decides to forego a trip to Europe to commemorate the 60th anniversary of V-E Day with the survivors who fought there.

You know. Voters. Parents and grand-parents of voters.

The ones who risked life and limb in order for all of us the enjoy the freedoms that we constantly take for granted.

Little Paulyanna, who is fighting for his poor little political life, has forsaken any future support so he could attend to some self-preservation.
Cliff Chadderton, chairman of the 51-member National Council of Veteran Associations, says Canada's vets have been delivered "the worst of all insults."

"What a shame that The Year of the Veteran -- 2005 -- should be celebrated by what can only be called a mockery engineered by our own prime minister," Chadderton wrote in a statement released following the announcement from the Prime Minister's Office.

Explaining his reaction in an interview with CTV's Canada AM Tuesday morning, the War Amps CEO condemned the decision.

"All of a sudden there's a change," Chadderton said, recalling promises from the PMO that Martin would be in there on May 8th. "He's riding on the backs of the Canadians who really fought in Holland, that's what he's doing."
But is Paulyanna worried? Heck. no! Paulyanna loves being Prime Minister. Just because.
Commenting on the decision, PMO spokesperson Melanie Gruer said Monday that it was made "to ensure that the prime minister is here at home and available to Parliament,'' in light of opposition threats to force an election.

But Chadderton says putting electoral politics over historic ties will be hard for the Dutch to fathom.

"Our prime minister stays home because of politics, I don't think they'll understand it."

"We're too close to Holland, we did too much, we lost too many men," he added, mindful of the 7,600 Canadians who died there during the war.
Well, since Paulyanna's now Prime Minister, he could delay the vote until later. Or if he's man enough as he claims to be, he could go to Europe to support and honour those who have made sacrifices so that all Canadians can enjoy the fruits of political freedom - the same kind of freedom that our Fearless Prime Minister™ strongly espouses when he promised to correct the "democratic deficit" in Parliament.

But all things considered, screw the vets.

Paulyanna loves being Prime Minister.

Just because.

And he wants it to stay that way.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

My Inner European?

Your Inner European is Russian!

Mysterious and exotic.
You've got a great balance of danger and allure.

Damn - there goes my French credentials!

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Saturday Night Cold Cuts

Alright! In short order...
  1. Little Paulyanna's Thursday Night Plea Bargain With Canadians. Thank God/Adonai/Allah/Satan/Odin/Krom that I went out drinking at the Split Crow when it happened.
    We all know what AdScam did to those poor Liberals, and Prime Minister Martin, neck deep in a universe of shit, went on the tube to appeal to us Fellow Canadians that he would make sure Gomery complete his board of inquiry. Then he promised that he would call an election within 30 days of it completion. Boo Hoo Hoo!
    Well... if Little Paulyanna were so determined to show some leadership, he should've come clean on some of the finer aspects of this scandal. Especially since most of it happened under his fucking watch as finance minsiter!
    Imagine if all this money didn't go to Groupaction - we would have more money for port security, better customs officer training, improved infrastructure...
    Someone suggested that this whole affair has been screwing with my head... can you imagine where all that money collected from the Firearms Registry, the GST and Human Resources could've gone to?
    From this point on, I shall no longer comment on Little Paulyanna's sponsorship snafu, lest I turn into one of those conspiracy-theory pirates.
    Instead, I'll leave it to Captain Ed to blaze away...
    In the meantime, Little Paulyanna should brush up on short-order cooking skills - he stands a better chance making Canadians happier serving burgers than bullshit.

  2. Speaking of people named "Paul". Paul "Bono Vox" Hewson of U2 tore a bit of a strip off Little Paulyanna for reneging on a promise to reach a foreign aid goal of 0.7% of the country's Gross Domestic Product.
    Last week, after the government unveiled its foreign policy review, Martin said Canada is not in a position to make an "unalterable guarantee" the country could reach the 0.7% target by 2015.

    Bono doesn't buy it, pointing out that Germany, Britain and France have already agreed to the target facing the same economic challenges. Not honouring commitments is like "renegotiating your deal with God downwards," he said.

    No offence, Bono, but what makes you think that Canada is such an economic powerhouse?
    You may have heard the saying about charity starting at home.
    Maybe you should try running our country one of these days, Mr. Hewson. Who knows? You might do a better job than this other guy named Paul.

  3. No justice for Matti. In 1999, Matti Baranovski was with some friends at a park in North York when a couple of guys approached him asking for smokes.
    When he refused, he got beaten to death.
    Three people initially got charged with second-degree murder. One of them, Daniel Weiz, was acquitted. The other 2, Meir Mariani and Lee Cochrane, were convicted of manslaugher and received 10-year prison sentences in 2003.
    However, the powers that be over at Ontario's Ministry of Community Safety and Correctional Services decided that these thugs have already served 4 years prior to the trial, thus making them eligible for an early release.
    There were probably many reasons why Matti got killed. Some people say that the trio were ripped off by a group of Russians in a drug deal gone sour and needed to kick some ass, thus making Matti the wrong person at the wrong time.
    But I had also heard rumours that Matti was targeted for a drug debt - either his own or one of his friends' - and that the boys were determined to either send a message or set an example to those who might piss them off.
    Either way, Mariani and Cochrane are hardly shining examples of fine Canadian youth. Both of them were judged very problematic by a parole review board last year and were considered "too high-risk to release".
    Considering the fact they they were once poor, misguided teens at the time of the killing, someone up at the ministry might have fely pity for them.
    Give me a fucking break, and then some. They did the crime: they deserved to serve the time in full. No ifs ands or buts about it.
    It's a good thing that Matti's with his maker - if he were around, he would be glad to welcome Mariani and Cochrane back to freedom with a two-by-four.

  4. The Boys are back in town! Nova Scotia's gift to the world, "Trailer Park Boys", is back with new episodes!
    I went to the season premiere party at the Marquee last Sunday. Most of the cast were there - J-roc, DVS, Julian, Ricky, Bubbles, Mr. Lahey, Sara, Lucy, Randy (in character, belly and all) and... CYRUS!
    You remember Cyrus... in the first episode in season 1, he was the thug who took over Sunnyvale Trailer Park while Julian and Ricky were in jail, playing and talking tough until Julian dared him to blow his head off in front of a local crowd.
    And it appears that the man who tells people to fuck off (he has work to do) will be gunning for a bigger piece of the action this season. And it seems that each TPB season has a theme. I've given them a title in a post on my website...

    • Season One: Welcome to Sunnyvale
    • Season Two: Freedom 35
    • Season Three: Back to Square One
    • Season Four: The Last Temptation of Bubbles

    I wonder what I shall call Season Five? Watch this space... this should get a little bit interesting.

  5. Jack me in! My latest acquisistion - The Matrix Online. Created 2 characters - 1 male, 1 female.
    The male character is a bit of a loner. Somehow, he gets ingnored and thus less likely to get jumped-on by Agents.
    The female is a bit different: a cynic who seem to have turned into Agent Bait. She's has been getting gibbed left right and centre since she came online.
    This shit is addictive. And enragingly engaging. A new bane of my social life has arrived.
    Game still has some minor connectivity and graphics issues, but not to worry because just like the trilogy that spawned it, the Matrix is still a work in progress.
    I just can't wait to take over that world!
Have a good one!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Fuck the Deserters!

What a long strange trip it's been...

I don't really consider myself a prolific weblog commentator. After all, when you're too busy with life off the grid, it's next to impossible to play in the information super-highway.

Since my offline life currently sucks a bit, the online life has become secondary - I just had to sort some of the real-life bullshit out before I could jack myself back into this alternate universe of 1s and 0s.

But anyways, for this post, some goddamn foreigner is telling us Canucks how to treat those who volunteered then fucked off because they realised that they have to fight in some godforsaken foreign country.
Retired California state senator Tom Hayden will meet with NDP Leader Jack Layton and members of the Bloc Quebecois. He'll bring up cases such as those of Jeremy Hinzman -- a former U.S. soldier who went AWOL before being shipped off to Iraq.
Tom Hayden - ex-Hippie, ex-Californian Demonic Rat. That tells you something right there, eh?
After the Chicago Seven trial, Hayden married (and later divorced) activist actress Jane Fonda.
That statement also tells you a bit on where Tommy-boy stands on this whole "war resister" affair.

But anyways... read on.
"There are all kinds of soldiers who are dissenting, who are deserting. There are 6,000 according to the Pentagon -- and some of them are in Canada," he said on Canada AM.

Hayden said he hopes Canada will provide a safe haven for resistors of the Iraq war, similar to the way it did 35 years ago during the Vietnam War.

"Looking back, it was a proud chapter in Canadian history, and relations between the United States and Canada were not damaged at all."
Well... back in the day, the guys that my home and native land™ accepted were draftees (conscripts) escaping from the war: they were called-up, so they simply fucked-off.

This current batch of poor-fucks volunteered to join the armed services, then fucked off.

Correct me if I'm plain wrong, but I see a slight difference between draft-dodging and desertion, don't you?

If you volunteer to serve for a certain period of time, you essentially saying that you are available to undertake any required tasking. If you refuse to honour that commitment, you may be charged with anything, from insubordination to desertion.

These deserters commited a crime. Canada, as humanitarian as it can be, can't afford to harbour any more criminals - we have more than enough of our own, and then some.

Jeremy Hinzman learned that the hard way. After all, he is considered an illegal immigrant according to our (lax) immigration laws.

Enter fellow moonbat traveller Celeste Zappala...
"I believe that this war in Iraq is a betrayal of our military, and of the noble causes that they have fought for," she said.

Zappala adds that young U.S. soldiers who have decided they won't fight in Iraq deserve support -- and that Canada is a good place to get it.

"I've always admired the Canadians for the human rights positions they've taken, for that conscience that they have always displayed," she said.

She also said she admires people like Hinzman who take courageous positions.

"It's difficult for our soldiers to say no," she said.
Well... ask yourself this, Celeste.

Why did your son join the military in the first place? Why didn't you stop him.

Why did Thomas Hinzman join the military? What was his motivation? What was he expecting?

Aside from economic considerations, why would any American join the military?

If it is for a shot at a college education, they could've had a better chance serving time in jail - and getting that college diploma.

For for those who have joined - and are still serving - they knew what they were getting into, and they knew of the consequences of being part of such an organization.

They knew about the commitment demanded of them and the price of achieving that rare level of excellence required to carry out the task.

I should know - I went through all the trouble trying to achieve that level. Sadly, my body couldn't handle it, as much as my heart, mind and soul crave the challenge.

In a nutshell - send the deserters back to where they came from. If they were men enough to join, they should be men enough to face the music.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Crack and Jib Make People Stupid:
Florida Whore Pimps Own Daughters

So I came across this article courtesy of the really nice people at the Rott.

I had to resist the urge to put a fist right through my monitor, not neccessarily out of concern of my own health, but out of ongoing financial issues.

You see, my poor 98 Malibu has been feeling kinda blue lately, so I sent her to 3 different area garages and got different quotes on work needed to make her feel better (and to have her Nova Scotia motor vehicle inspection sticker renewed).

But that's for another story in another place.

Back to this piece of shit...
The youngest girl and her mother were living out of their car, and would sell sex for food and an occasional shower at the men's homes, according to a report by Okeechobee County Sheriff's Office Detective K.J. Ammons.

The youngest daughter is three months pregnant, the report said; she was 11 when her mother first forced her to have sex with a man. The older daughter refused to be a prostitute and was allegedly sold for a car.
Now, what would make the giver of life pimp off her 2 daughters? What was going on in her little drug-addled brain? Did she ever have any morals to start with in the first place? Had she any concern of the health and well being of her babies? Shouldn't she have simply taught them how to steal and defraud the local welfare authorities? Did she give any semblance of a flying fuck about all this shit?

Forget rope and tree. Forget slow torture. Forget selling this whore's worthless skanky ass to the righteous al-Zarqawi guys in Iraq (although that might be very tempting).

I'd say we be like the Pilgrims of old and have a good old-fashioned witch-burning, live on pay-per-view.

And to all the bleeding hearts that pass by here and feel some kind of sympathy for the mother, a sage word of advice:



The Onion: "Heaven Less Opulent Than Vatican, Reports Disappointed Pope"

For all the work he had done in this world, one would expect the recently-departed Holy Father to enjoy the splendour of the Afterlife.
"Where are all the marble statues, sterling-silver chalices, and gem-encrusted scepters?" the visibly disappointed pope asked. "Where are the 60-foot-tall stained-glass windows and hand-painted cupolas? Where are the elaborately outfitted ranks of Swiss Guards? Why isn't every single surface gilded? This is my eternal reward?"
Apparently, life is a little bit more simple Up There.
According to the pope, heaven is merely a place of unending peace and happiness, wherein all the spirits of the Elect live together forever in perfect harmony and goodness, basking in the rays of God's divine love.

"Up here, everyone is equal," John Paul II said. "No one has to go through an elaborate bowing ritual when they greet me. And do you know how many times my ring has been kissed since I arrived? None. Up here, I'm mingling with tax collectors, fishermen, and whores. It's just going to take a little getting used to, is all."
Hope to see you soon, Karol.

Monday, April 11, 2005

"'Dancing mom' gets 3 years for daughter's death" - WTF, eh?

This stupid crack-whore, Clara Da Silva, 25, left her 2-year-old to die of dehydration while she partied her skanky ass off at a salsa club.

And she gets 3 FUCKING YEARS for this?
Adriana Da Silva was left alone for 33 hours during a heat wave. The temperature in the apartment rose to 35 degrees Celsius, and she had no food or water.

Adriana's father, Mark Yetman, called the three-year sentence for his former girlfriend ridiculous.
Well... no shit, Sherlock. The Crown has suggested 12 years for this act of selfish stupidity. (Max sentence - 25 years.)

Congratulations, Clara. You proved yourself to be a great cocksucker in getting off lightly - probably a lot better than Michael Schiavo when he endlessly convinced court after court to let Terri Schindler (she doesn't derserve to have that hated Schiavo surname!) to starve to death a month ago.

Just start learning how to enjoy eating pussy - it'll come very handy in prison.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Monday, April 04, 2005

The fit hitting the shan...

How did that get under my radar?

The Gomery board of inquiry is about to get close to outing the mandarins and the warlords in the whole Adscam scandal.

Meanwhile, Paulyanna is running scared, possibly because he may be one of Groupaction's beneficiaries.

Could the previous election have been bought by the "sponsorship" monies? Could it be that the whole shitstorm is about to blow wide open because of the Liberal's failure to secure a Québec majority in spite of these monies?

The Captain must be taking a very good interest in our country. Unlike any average Yank, he's wondering whether anything like what we're experiencing could happen down there.

And eventually, more people will be wondering the same thing. They'll be asking the same questions regarding monies paid out to sypathetic companies by the party in power. They'll have questions on where the money went and for what use. They'll wonder if whether any of the monies were used for a campaign other than promoting national unity, cultural festivals, sport events, etc.

The cruel irony is that in spite of all the nationalistic breast-beating, the current minority government might wind up being toppled by a Yank.

Never underestimate the power of an inquiring foreigner.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

A Juno Live Blog (sort of)

Tonight is the night for Canada's best in music, and it's all taking place in Winterpeg, Manitoba, Canada.

Of course, those wily capitalists over at CTV decided that rather than lose some of their audience to those "Desperate Housewives" elsewhere, they managed to merge it with the Red Carpet show. I'm no fan of "DH" - hell, I don't even watch enough t.v. to find any favourites - but after enduring almost 30 minutes of bitchy, premenopausal harpy Stepford Housewives, I prefer to watch it even less (except for "Trailer Park Boys", of course).

Already I'm resisting the urge to strangle the living fuck out of Gabrielle for being such a spoiled little bitch. Her husband's mother passed away at the hospital, but just before leaving the proverbial mortal coil, she let the night nurse know that Gabrielle's been fooling around. Somehow, I already figured that bitch Gabrielle was up to something when she wanted her husband to skimp on his mom's final trip...

But I digress.

But anyways... Hollywood and hype has come up North tonight. Brent Butt (who?) from "Corner Gas" - another show that I don't quite follow - will be hosting. I - who you should know by now - will be watching and clearing out a whole bunch of crap from my night table, chairs, hutch and desk because accomodations wanted to replace the furniture in my room.

That also means cleaning it up.

So... here goes anything.

20:50 (ADT) - Randy Bachman is looking good tonight. Back in the day, he was the BIG man on the block with Bachman Turner Overdrive and the Guess Who (featuring Burton Cummings). Gave props to Neil Young, who was unable to attend due to an emergency brain aneurysm operation. Why are people choosing to drop like flies this week? I'd like to know.

21:30 (ADT) - IT'S SHOWTIME! The Grammys - er, Junos, start off with Simple Plan - imagine Busted with more talent and push from Bob Rock's slick production on their last album. The crowd goes wild when host Brent Butt comes onstage in Kiss drag. A flashpot throws Brent off his rhythm, the floor direct comes in and Brent ranted about his entrance. Obviously, tight leather clothing ain't his bag and Brent complains that Rufus Wainright was hotting on him. More rant. Fade to commercial.

21:42 (ADT) - Fefe Dobson and Ian Thornley come out to present The Group of the Year. I suspect that the Tragically Hip might get the nod - I mean they're the fucking Hip, rh? Instead, Billy Talent get the paperweight. Screamo goes maintream.

Brent shows up in a tux and feels a lot better. Presents Feist, who was in By Divine Right last time I saw her. What a difference a couple of years and a few thousand miles make. Experiences some tech difficulties, but at least doesn't pull a Ghastly Ashley on everyone. Think of Feist as a melding of Cheryl Crow and Björk. End set gracefully.

Oh, and between performances and presentations, last night's winners were announced. Bob Rock was one of them for Simple Plan's and Metallica's last offerings.

Cue commercial...

21:55 (ADT) - Keith Urban gets welcomed by Winnipegers. The Aussie gets to talk to Sam Roberts, who is currently recording an album in Sydney, Australia (and seems to look a bit fried-out). Sam introduces K-os (not the Daily one, you knobs!), who goes for the throwdown in Pegtown with "B-boy Stance". Go easy on the Funky Drummer breaks, eh?

22:04 (from this point on, all time will be in ADT, okay...) - Brent introduces western sob-pop diva Jann Arden, who introduces Standard Radio mogul Allan Slaight as the recipient of the Walt Grealis award.

Burton Cummings, Sarah Slean (the lean mean pop machine, BOH!) and that leader from Jacksoul come up to the stage to present the SOCAN award for best songwriting. Will Avril Lavigne get it, Buck 65, Ron Sexsmith? Ron, the tall mon, gets the nod.

22:17 - Gordie Sampson and a government minister present New Artist of the Year. Keshia Chanté? FeFe? Feist? Matt Dusk? Award gets foisted on Feist.

22:22 - Brent pay homage to Winnipeg and its sights, such as Salisbury House, Salisbury House, Salisbury House, and a gym. The introduces kd lang and her rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". Never has a Cohen tune been given a gothic honky-tonk treatment, but then again Leonard's tunes aren't your average pop songs, anyway. And kd lang isn't your average pop singer. I had a crush on her when she was channeling Patsy Cline many years ago. Now I know why. Even after coming out as a lesbian, I still have a crush on kd.

After receiving a standing ovation, kd gave props to the absent Neil Young with a rendition of "Helpless". It was a last minute deal, but it was a decent performance. But it sure ain't the same without Neil. Cut to commercials...

22:41 - Kingston, ON pop diva Sarah Harmer, formerly of Kingston, ON pop rawkers Weeping Tile, pinch hits for the absent Dan Ackroyd to introduce the Tragically Hip into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. So many kudos from the PM to Wayne Gretzky to Rush and the Barnaked Ladies, along with numerous fans, pile on the band, who then gave the Peggers a memorable performance of "Fully, Completely" and "Faith, Too", in which Gord Downie suggested moving the UN HQ to Halifax (with all due respect, Gordo, NON, MERCI!). Imagine a hoser REM with a scary case of freestyle Tourettes - God love the Hip!

22:56 - After Gord spent a good portion of the dying moments of "Faith, Too" freestyling and berating the mic and the mic stand for being disrespectful, the show cuts to a commercial...

23:00 - Keshia Chanté and Allan Doyle from Great Big Sea present this year's Rap recording. K-os and his "Joyful Rebellion" gets the paperweight with a simple "thank you". What? No props to the Pegger Massive? Wot bumbaclat deal is dis, eh?

23:06 - Billy Talent take to the stage with "The River Below". No lip-synch. Just balls-out noise. Guitarist seems to have returned Wayne Static's hairdo to it's rightful owner.

23:14 - "Album of the Year": Diana Krall, Céline Dion, Avril Lavigne, Billy Talent, Simple Plan... Upper Canada Emo schmoes Billy Talent take it away.

23:22 - Sons of Antigonish, The Trews, along with some dude who won a contest, gave the Juno Fan Choice Award to Avril Lavigne for, well, keeping us entertained.

23:34 - 2004 Canadian Idle Idol, Kalan Porter take to the stage with a blistering fiddlde solo. This ain't just a pretty face - this boy's got skills. He'll definitely have a future.

23:33 - Adult Alternative: Sarah Harmer, Matt Mays, Ron Sexsmith, Rufus Wainright and my fave, Sarah Slean.

Well, one of the 2 Sarahs won, but it wasn't the Slean Machine that got it. Boo hoo.

Rainbow butt monkeys Finger Eleven shill the 2005 Juno CD, proceeds of which goes to the MusiCan musical education initiative. Sum 41 performed.

23:45 - Holy Trinity, Batman! Ron Sexmith, Jim Cuddy and Matt Mays present the Single of the Year. I'm pulling for K-os's "Crabbucket". And lo and behold - the Trinity delivered to the K-os in da hizzle. Once again, he didn't say much. Up next... "a special Winnipeg tribute". Just can't wait...

23:52 - Brent says goodnight to everyone. Then Randy Bachman, Burton Cummings and other denizens of the Pegger scene let 'er rip with "Takin' Care of Business", without a doubt one of the best Beaver Rawk tunes of the 20th century, followed by "Shake Your Hand" (? - I forgot the actual name of the tune - gotta get a Guess Who box-set one of these days). And damnit, Cummings did a damn good job... HOGGING THE FUCKING MIC! He should've at least shared it with everyone else just like Bachman. Oh well, that's it for the 2005 Juno Awards, live from Winnipeg, MB.

And now... I'm off to clean my fucking room. 'nite for now!

The breast best things in life...

What the bloody hell are you looking at, pervert?... are in the title.
Thank you, Page 3.


Saturday, April 02, 2005

A slight deviation from the norm...

I've redone my website.

And now I've redone this.

Hooray for me! The Y-2-DRAY Quest for World Domination™ continues!

More fun to follow...

Pope John Paul II (Karol Jozef Wojtyla) - 1920-2005

He had survived Nazism, Communism, a fickle world social order, progressive theology, scandals, controversies, 9/11, 2 Gulf Wars, the New World Order...

Whether you're a Catholic (devout or lapsed) or not, religious, atheist or otherwise, Pope John Paul II kept the universal church relevant in his 26-year papacy.

The Vatican announced his passing, which occurred approximately at 14:37 ET.

For most of my life, he was THE POPE, the leaders of countless millions of faithful in a church wracked by scandals and infighting amongst the Left and Right, liberal and conservative, young and old...

Now begins the hard part - getting a new pope with the skills and charisma to fill the Shoes of the Fisherman.

Rest in peace. May the Lord give you the r'n'r that you deserve.

Take a deep breath before punching out monitor...

Courtesy of the free-thinking, enlightened minds at the Arab News is this cute little editorial cartoon...

Arab Times editorial cartton

Don't look too closely into their eyes - you might go blind.

Thanks, lgf.

Shabbat Shalom!

Friday, April 01, 2005

Expect Canada to join in the campaign to free Iran... NOT!

If you click on the link, you'll find out that the Iranian official was interested in the country's passenger database to be used in the war against terror.

One must consider the fact that naturalised Canadian Zahra Kazemi was arrested after taking pictures of a Teheran prison riot, raped and tortured to death and then buried in Iran.

And what did we do? A little slap-and-giggle, c'est tout.

Even the French wouldn't stand for that, would they?

So what's with the goodwill, Little Pauly-anna?

Da Doctor's in da Hizzle!

Doctor Who is coming back to North America.

The legendary BBC sci-fi series - one of the oldest, I believe - has done a slight makeover on Gallifrey's most famous export. Gone is the snobby, theatrical BBC-standard accent and cheap-but-earnest sets. In goes some flash, CGI and a proletarian Mancunian accent provided by Chistopher Eccleston as The Doctor himself (he played the asshole Major in "28 Days Later").

And this time - he has a bit of a hottie as a sidekick named Rose, who's played by a hottie named Billie Piper. You may remember her as Britain's answer to Britney/XXX-tina/Jessica Simpleton back in the dark days of the pop-tart 90s. At 22, she has made the transistion to adulthood and acting.

In short, I just can't wait. The new version of the series starts 5 April on the CBC.

Post Mortem: the Schiavo-Schindler Affair

Where do I really stand vis à vis the whole mess created by the fight over Terri Schiavo's fate?

The way I look at it, this wasn't about the right to life vs. dying with dignity.

It wasn't about conservative vs. liberal.

Neither was it about Catholicism/X-tianity vs. humanism, husband vs. inlaws, religion, states' rights vs. individual rights, privacy, publicity, money, health care or even love.

It was all about principle and timeliness.

Had anyone really given a damn about Terri, she wouldn't have tried all those fad diets to make her slim and eventually caused her untimely cardiac arrest.

Had anyone given a damn about Terri, the Schindlers would've kept their daughter and she would've been alive today.

Terri would've had more tests earlier so that there would be faint hope of recovery.

There still would've been more malpractice money to go around.

There would've been no endless court battles and costly lawyers getting hired and fired. President W. and Governor Jeb would not have gone through the trouble of signing special bills as a result of such a case.

In the end, the whole case has been mishandled right from the start. Had the Schindlers not abdicated their guardianship to Michael Schiavo, there would be no median circus surrounding Terri's plight. Had Michael Schiavo made up his mind regarding Terri's fate much sooner, the whole matter would've been resolved a long time ago.

Instead, we have Michael and Satan (a.k.a. George Felos), playing all the courts like little violins saying that Terri would've wanted to go this way. EIGHT YEARS AFTER THE FACT????!!!??!?!? Give me a fucking break! What kept him so long? What's with that brain-fart, Michael?

Principles. Timeliness. Lack of foresight. Lack of a proper will, living or otherwise (aren't we adults guilty of that kind of negligence, sometimes?). And at the source, the quest for a perfect body and the limitations of modern medical science. In the end, they all killed Terri.

And even after her death, the family feud continiues. Will it ever end? Maybe not.