Team America World Police - and the 1 hour 40 minutes that I can't take back. (A short, hostile review.)

Yesterday I had a bit of a dilemma.

I had a choice between staying at home and watching "Degrassi: The Next Generation" mainly to check out Mr. Silent Bob himself, Kevin Smith, or check out the cheap movie night at the Empire Theatres in Bayers Lake.

What the hell, I thought to myself. Considering that there would be a repeat of the Degrassi broadcast, I decided to check out "Team America World Police", created by the twisted minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

So far, I'm only familiar with their main meal ticket, "South Park", and vaguely familiar with their other offerings, "Base-ketball" and "Orgazmo". But I thought that a trip to see the World Police in action would satisfy some sick and twisted jones for some sick and twisted satire featuring marionnettes. After all, doesn't anyone like to see Michael Moore (or at least a reasonable facsimile of him) get his just desserts?

Well, the movie was good for the first 15-20 minutes when the Team obliterated half of Paris, lost a member, gained a member, obliterated half of Egypt then get boycotted by a bunch of lefty actors. After that, it turned into one jumbled shit-stew of left-right dichotomies, toilet humour, hardcore sex (without the mess, believe it or not - hands down, the funniest part of the film) and lame racial stereotyping coupled with mangled patois. "Kim Jong-Il" came off as a bad Cartman knockoff, complete with substitution of the "L" sound with a rhotic "R".

Somehow, lost in this clusterfuck is a brave attempt to mock the sanctimoniousness of both liberals and conservatives (yes... conservatives can be sactimonious dicks, too) and the concept of good intentions. If you take away the outrageous sideshows going on in the lives of characters (as this is being labelled as an "action movie"), the film would have the potential to be this century's "Dr. Strangelove". But it all becomes just plain redundant, boring and lame in the end.

I coudn't feel this movie much to like it, but I have to give it enough respect since if a movie like this featured human actors as opposed to marionnettes, there would have been a) a massive deficit on the part of Parker and Stone because of the effects; and b) there would've been shrieks of outrage from the X-tian fundamentalists for its unapologetic display of vulgarity.

(Not that vulgarity is bad, of course: life itself can be a very vulgar exercise.)

My suggestion - wait for the dvd or just P2P the motherfucker.

As for the 1 hr 40 mins... someone else will have to come up with it.

Nova Scotia promotes health "down-under"...

Next on the line... McLean and McLean take the "o" out of "country".

Heh heh heh...

The wearing of grief.

The San Francisco Chronicle has an article out on a new trend hitting America's urban streets.

R.I.P. shirts, according to the article, have been around for years...

The origin of R.I.P. shirts is a bit murky, but some entrepreneurs say the shirts originated in the South, during jazz funeral processions in New Orleans. Others trace R.I.P. roots farther, to West Africa and the Caribbean, where mourners often wear head scarves or handkerchiefs with the deceased's likeness on them, said psychologist Ronald Barrett, a professor at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles who has written extensively on African American funeral practices.

The only problem is: when are they coming up to Canada?

Sheik Younus Kathrada: Morally Illiterate Islamidiot! (UPDATED VERSION)

[Begin profane rant]

First, read this article about this fucker Sheik Younus Kathrada, and mull this over:

In speeches and lectures given at the Dar al-Madinah Islamic Society mosque in east Vancouver, Sheik Younus Kathrada has regularly lashed out at Israelis and the entire Jewish population.

Kathrada has been heard telling his congregation that the Qur'an perceives Jews to be treacherous people. He also says Muslims and Jews are poised for an apocalyptic fight.

"The prophet... said the final hour will not be established until such time as the Muslims will battle and will fight against the Jews," Kathrada says in a recording obtained by The Canadian Press.

Obviously, this cunt seems pretty progressive: many bigots used to think that Islam was stuck in the Stone Age.

I am quite convinced that judging by this waste of human tissue, he has progressed the extreme Islamidiotarianism to the Dark Ages.

And as you read even further...

Kathrada has also lashed out at Israelis for killing Hamas founder Sheik Ahmed Yassin. "We know what happened over the last week and how the brothers of the monkeys and swine assassinated and murdered one of the heroes of Islam," Kathrada said.

When confronted, Kathrada defended his name-calling, saying "I guess it's no rougher than what is used against us." He added, "It's in our Qur'an."

Ohhhh... so it is, oh venerable Sheikh? Is that all you read? The fucking Qur'an? Do you have any life outside of every single word and syllable printed in the Qur'an?

Jesus Fuck, man... did you spend most of your life in a cave being taught by those who have no other life than the Qur'an? Even David Koresh and the Branch Davidians had other things to deal with other than the Gospels. And they were called religious extremists!

Of course, this isn't the first time the Sheikster has made the news: check this out:

One honest man spelled the difference between a good week and a bad for a local golf course.

On Sunday night, a member of the Richmond Mosque ran over a tattered IGA shopping bag at the intersection of No. 6 Road and Westminster Highway. Looking back to see what he'd hit, he noticed cash spilling out.

"He thought if he didn't stop and pick it up, someone dishonest would," said Younus Kathrada, a sheik at the Dar Al-Madinah Islamic Society, speaking for the man who came to him after making the find.

"He is a Muslim and wouldn't even entertain the thought of keeping it," said Kathrada.

Not to mention this story right here...

Younus Kathrada, a teacher at Dar Al-Madinah – a Muslim prayer and information centre – says he often spoke with the young man.

Kathrada says he and others who had seen the Vancouver man come into the centre for the last two years couldn't believe the news out of Chechnya.

"We were in a state of shock, and we remain in a state of shock because we really don't know what has transpired, and just like everyone else we would like to know," he says.

How about this one...

Suleman Nassir, a Saudi Arabian resident who is currently taking a management course at a Lower Mainland college, stumbled upon about $7,000 in cash and coins inside a cloth bag sitting on the road at a local intersection Sunday night while he was on his way to pray at a local mosque.

Stopped at No. 5 Road and Westminster Highway, Nassir told The Richmond Review that it was obvious the bag contained money because coins were strewn about on the roadside. Inside were cash register receipts along with $20, $50 and $100.

(...) Kathrada said the Muslim faith teaches about ownership of property and not taking what doesn't belong to you, and the value of honesty.

Wow... "one honest man", eh?

And now he's spewing some major anti-shemite shite at the local mosque? Did some Great Shaitan take control over him and twist this religion of peace?

And is it any wonder why more people are turning to atheism and agnosticism because X-tianity, Judaism and Islam have supremist undercurrents?

The weird thing is that both X-tians and Jewz have reformed and enlightened their beliefs, "The Passion of the Christ" and "The Passion of the Jew" notwithstanding. Islam is still trying to get into the Dark Ages, but all these self-appointed leaders wanted to play Messiah and start all these fucking Jihads.

And unlike X-tianity, Islam has no centralized authority such as a pope or pontiff to standardise practices. Thus one mullah would say "Do this" while Sheikh Yerbouti would say "Don't do this; do that". Meanwhile, Sheikh Yermanni Mekker would declare, "We shall do this, but my way", countered by Sheikh Yerass's "We shall do this, but only when we feel like it."

So, when will the feds throw all the books at Sheik Kathrada and his hateful piece of cocksuck supremism? Isn't that a hate crime? Doesn't that warrant a charge of "public incitement of hatred" under the Criminal Code (section 319, FTWK)? I think it should.

Thankfully, some saner heads are prevailing, and it will be a matter of time before that fuckwad Kathrada be brought to heel.

And maybe then, all of us should be able to breathe easier.

Fuck you, Kathrada! No Jihad for you, punk.

[End rant]

UPDATE: Sheik Kathrada has recently tried to perform a public foot-extrication operation by claiming that his words were taken out of context.

In his statement, Kathrada takes a measure of responsibility for the uproar that has created "some of the saddest moments of my life" by using "a poor choice of words" and not explaining exactly what he meant.
But he also criticized "irresponsible reporting" that used his words out of context.
"Contrary to what the media has tried to portray, I am not a violent nor hateful person," he says.

Translation: "Damn those effin' Jooz!"

Nice to see an honest man explaining himself with a mouth full of foot.

Bon appetit, Sheikh!

Ban the Toronto Marathon - wha-haaa?

In light of the death of a 42 year-old Guelph runner, Canada Free Press's Arthur Weinreb proposes that the Toronto Marathon should be banned.

Given the fact that the State in question has concluded that we puny humans are incapable of accountability with regards to health - witness smoking bans and the proposed moratorium on fresh sushi in Toronto area restaurants - a ban on a gruelling marathon may be in order.

Since when have citizens become responsible for their own health? Adults can't decide to smoke in a bar with other consenting adults or use a pesticide or now it appears, eat sushi that has not been previously frozen. Where did this radical idea that people are responsible for their own health ever come from? The doctor's statement is a shameful expression of individual responsibility that has absolutely no place in 21st century Toronto. It will only be a matter of time before laws are proposed to outlaw smoking in cars and then homes and then limiting the number of Big Macs that people can eat. Yet the radical suggestion is made that people be allowed to run, even though that activity can result in serious injury or death.

All heil the Glorious Nanny State! No plans on curing cancer or diabetes, but then why bother when you have all the band-aid solutions at your disposal?

NEXT!