So I ask myself... what the hell, I'll watch the Oscars tonight and see find out what movie shall come out on top.
So anyways... let's do a play-by-play, okay? (Times in AST)
21:55 - after "The Aviator" received a statue for art direction and Morgan Freeman got his for "Million Dollar Baby", Robin Williams redid his HBO schtick before presenting the Oscar for the best animated feature, which went to "The Incredibles". Chris Rock suggested an urban version for next year called "The A-i-iights". Aiiight!
22:07 - so that Lemony Snicket movie got the nod for best makeup, presented by former Elven diva Cate Blanchett. And Beyoncé! sang a song in French.
22:10 - Chris Rock took to the massive asking what's the best flick in their opinion. Slightly lame-o-rama except for that last shot with Martin Lawrence. And why couldn't they broadcat the technical awards, eh?
22:15 - froggy Pierce Brosnan brings out Edna from "The Incredibles" to present the best costume award. "The Aviator" got the nod.
22:20 - so far, so good. Best supporting actresses tend to get just as much respect as best supporting actors, meaning that they a) have managed to get their collective foot in the door for bigger roles; or b) their careers are in decline. Whatever... ex-Elf Blanchett got the paperweight for "The Aviator".
22:26 - giving respect to those who passed before... Johnny Carson gets honoured for his contribution to the Oscars. The man is greatly missed. May nobody ever fill his shoes.
22:29 - Leonardo DiCaprio gets up and gets down with the best documentary award. Why didn't "Super Size Me" didn't win. That flick is so fucking hilarious. In fact, light years funnier than this year's winner, "Born Into Brothels". Oh well... at least "Fahrenheit 9/11" didn't get nominated, thank Satan.
22:33 - Kirsten "Mary-Jane" Dunst and Orlando "Legolas" Bloom gave a statuette to "The Aviator" for the best editing award. I suspect that this flick will get more of these things by the end of the evening.
22:35 - ahhh... finally some decent tunes in the form of "The Counting Crows". It's good to see Adam Duritz getting over Jennifer Aniston by singing "Accidentally in Love" from "Shrek 2". Cut to lame Canuck commercials.
22:43 - another lame shot in the form of Adam Sandler, who was stuck without Catherine Zeta Jones. Chris filled in for her. Lame hilarity ensued. Afterwards, "Sideways" got the best adaptation award.
22:46 - vis effects: tough call with all these films, but in the end "Spiderman 2" got the statue from Zhao Ziyang and som guy whose name I forgot. I noticed that all the acceptance speeches were mercifully short. Obviously, everyone's time is of the essence tonight.
22:50 - Al Pacino honours Sydney Lumet for his lifetime achievment to the movie industry. Added some personal testimony from his work in "Dog Day Afternoon" - that movie rawked. So did quite a few other movies that are too many for me to name.
23:04 - Beyoncé! sings again, this time a song from "The Phantom of the Opera" called "Learn to be Lonely". Can't they get another singer instead?
Of course, I didn't go see "Phantom", the movie.
After the song, Chris noted that all the winners didn't test postive for steroid use.
23:10 - Andrea Arnold gets the nod for "The Wasp" in the best live action short, stating that this is the dog's bollocks. Exactly that. On US television. Beat that, FCC!
23:13 - Canada, Montreal, the NFB and Seneca College gets props from the winner for the best animated short.
23:14 - Cinematography nod: "The Aviator". Most important for the winner, since his mom's been in the hospital for 45 days. My prayers go to them.
23:16 - more lame Canuck commercials.
23:21 - Penelope Cruz. Selma Hayek. Sound design. Unfortunately, my mono t.v. couldn't tell me which movie sounded better. "Ray" got the nod.
23:28 - time for me to get to bed. It's going to be a loooonnnnng freakin' day on the ship. I suspect that "The Aviator" will win shitloads of statuettes this year. Gotta remind myself to get the DVD.
Signing off. There you go. You're on your own, Pilgrim.