Fidel Castro IS deranged!!

Oh, Fidel. Into the yeyo again, eh Comrade?

What's this shit about you saying that Cubans are living in "heaven"?

Cuban President Fidel Castro said Tuesday that President George W. Bush appears deranged and Cubans would much rather live in the Caribbean island's "heaven" than try and survive in Bush's corrupt, capitalist "hell."

I dunno, Comrade... I spent over 2 weeks in FL, and the only hell I experienced was watching that fucking Orange Bowl game. Thank God you didn't get to see it.

Castro criticized Bush's government, linking it to corruption and torture. He then defended Cuba's socialist system, which Bush's administration has openly said should be replaced with a capitalist one.

"This country is heaven, in the spiritual sense of the word," Castro said.

Shit! You DID watch the Orange Bowl! On the basis of the Sooners' piss-poor performance against an apperently strong USC team, Bush is sure to be blamed.

And, yes Comrade, your country is "heaven" - for Canadian tourists willing to save a few Loonies, toasting out in the Carribean sun tossing back complimentary Cuba Libres.

Never mind that not all Cubans are libres, unless they are either related or well-connected to el Jefe, but who gives a fuck, eh? This is HEAVEN!!!

And after dark, some of the men would look for dates - armed with Greenbacks, of course. You can tell that Cuba's women really work hard for their money. After all - THIS IS HEAVEN!!!

If Pyongyang were much closer, we'd vacation there, too. And it would also be heaven.

And what about the EU's decision to ease sanctions on your paradise, Comrade? What about it?

The EU's new policy, which demands the release of all imprisoned dissidents, is up for review in July.

"They are treating us...as if we were condemned to a death sentence," using these months to "observe how I behave," Castro said.

Cuba "doesn't need the United States, it doesn't need Europe," he added.

"What a wonderful thing to be able to say, that (Cuba) doesn't need any assistance - it's learned to live without it."

Olé! In the spirit of Juche and Albanian Socialist Self-Reliance, you have managed to starve - er, encourage your country to be the self-sustaining powerhouse that only the most criminally deranged, despotic psycopaths could dream of.

Hats off to you, Comrade, for endangering your fragile health by standing up for 5 hours telling delegates at an "international pedagogy conference" that Cuba is a paradise for all to fucking behold.

Now sit down and shut the fuck up! Your time is gonna come...