Saturday Night Cold Cuts

Alright! In short order...

1. Little Paulyanna's Thursday Night Plea Bargain With Canadians. Thank God/Adonai/Allah/Satan/Odin/Krom that I went out drinking at the Split Crow when it happened.
   We all know what AdScam did to those poor Liberals, and Prime Minister Martin, neck deep in a universe of shit, went on the tube to appeal to us Fellow Canadians that he would make sure Gomery complete his board of inquiry. Then he promised that he would call an election within 30 days of it completion. Boo Hoo Hoo!
   Well... if Little Paulyanna were so determined to show some leadership, he should've come clean on some of the finer aspects of this scandal. Especially since most of it happened under his fucking watch as finance minsiter!
   Imagine if all this money didn't go to Groupaction - we would have more money for port security, better customs officer training, improved infrastructure...
   Someone suggested that this whole affair has been screwing with my head... can you imagine where all that money collected from the Firearms Registry, the GST and Human Resources could've gone to?
   From this point on, I shall no longer comment on Little Paulyanna's sponsorship snafu, lest I turn into one of those conspiracy-theory pirates.
   Instead, I'll leave it to Captain Ed to blaze away...
   In the meantime, Little Paulyanna should brush up on short-order cooking skills - he stands a better chance making Canadians happier serving burgers than bullshit.
   
   
2. Speaking of people named "Paul". Paul "Bono Vox" Hewson of U2 tore a bit of a strip off Little Paulyanna for reneging on a promise to reach a foreign aid goal of 0.7% of the country's Gross Domestic Product.
   

   Last week, after the government unveiled its foreign policy review, Martin said Canada is not in a position to make an "unalterable guarantee" the country could reach the 0.7% target by 2015.

   Bono doesn't buy it, pointing out that Germany, Britain and France have already agreed to the target facing the same economic challenges. Not honouring commitments is like "renegotiating your deal with God downwards," he said.

   
   No offence, Bono, but what makes you think that Canada is such an economic powerhouse?
   You may have heard the saying about charity starting at home.
   Maybe you should try running our country one of these days, Mr. Hewson. Who knows? You might do a better job than this other guy named Paul.
   
   

3. No justice for Matti. In 1999, Matti Baranovski was with some friends at a park in North York when a couple of guys approached him asking for smokes.
   When he refused, he got beaten to death.
   Three people initially got charged with second-degree murder. One of them, Daniel Weiz, was acquitted. The other 2, Meir Mariani and Lee Cochrane, were convicted of manslaugher and received 10-year prison sentences in 2003.
   However, the powers that be over at Ontario's Ministry of Community Safety and Correctional Services decided that these thugs have already served 4 years prior to the trial, thus making them eligible for an early release.
   There were probably many reasons why Matti got killed. Some people say that the trio were ripped off by a group of Russians in a drug deal gone sour and needed to kick some ass, thus making Matti the wrong person at the wrong time.
   But I had also heard rumours that Matti was targeted for a drug debt - either his own or one of his friends' - and that the boys were determined to either send a message or set an example to those who might piss them off.
   Either way, Mariani and Cochrane are hardly shining examples of fine Canadian youth. Both of them were judged very problematic by a parole review board last year and were considered "too high-risk to release".
   Considering the fact they they were once poor, misguided teens at the time of the killing, someone up at the ministry might have fely pity for them.
   Give me a fucking break, and then some. They did the crime: they deserved to serve the time in full. No ifs ands or buts about it.
   It's a good thing that Matti's with his maker - if he were around, he would be glad to welcome Mariani and Cochrane back to freedom with a two-by-four.
   
   
4. The Boys are back in town! Nova Scotia's gift to the world, "Trailer Park Boys", is back with new episodes!
   I went to the season premiere party at the Marquee last Sunday. Most of the cast were there - J-roc, DVS, Julian, Ricky, Bubbles, Mr. Lahey, Sara, Lucy, Randy (in character, belly and all) and... CYRUS!
   You remember Cyrus... in the first episode in season 1, he was the thug who took over Sunnyvale Trailer Park while Julian and Ricky were in jail, playing and talking tough until Julian dared him to blow his head off in front of a local crowd.
   And it appears that the man who tells people to fuck off (he has work to do) will be gunning for a bigger piece of the action this season. And it seems that each TPB season has a theme. I've given them a title in a post on my website...
   
   
   • Season One: Welcome to Sunnyvale
   • Season Two: Freedom 35
   • Season Three: Back to Square One
   • Season Four: The Last Temptation of Bubbles
   
   I wonder what I shall call Season Five? Watch this space... this should get a little bit interesting.
   
   
5. Jack me in! My latest acquisistion - The Matrix Online. Created 2 characters - 1 male, 1 female.
   The male character is a bit of a loner. Somehow, he gets ingnored and thus less likely to get jumped-on by Agents.
   The female is a bit different: a cynic who seem to have turned into Agent Bait. She's has been getting gibbed left right and centre since she came online.
   This shit is addictive. And enragingly engaging. A new bane of my social life has arrived.
   Game still has some minor connectivity and graphics issues, but not to worry because just like the trilogy that spawned it, the Matrix is still a work in progress.
   I just can't wait to take over that world!

Have a good one!