Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Kill the Following Sick Fucks! (Numero Un in a Series)

I'm normally a decent, laid-back, hardworking kind of guy with a bit of an offbeat sense of humour.

But once in a while, some events make me want to go Mr. Blonde on certain targets.

Exhibit A: the psycho piece of canine excrement who booby-trapped Woodbine Beach with razor-blade-spiked wood blocks, thus cancelling a beach-volleyball tournament - what the fuck is wrong with this so-called person? Obviously, Darwinism hasn't corrected the fuck's gene pool.

Exhibit B: another foreign contractor gets the "chop" in Iraq - so these "tough guys" are getting their tiny nuts kicked by coalition forces and what do they do? They go and capture civilian contractors, ask for some conditions and if they don't get their stinking way, slice off their heads. Don't these goat-fellators know that if they want to get to "Paradise", they have to engage the enemy head on? Allah is gonna have to explain all this crap to all these Yanks coming in through His pearly gates...

Allah: Ahhh, my Sons. What brings you to My paradise?
First American: Well, Boss, some assholes jumped us while we were on our way to work.
Second American: We were treated like shit and the last thing we heard was "Allahu al-Akbar".
First American: We were taught to not lose our heads in stressful situations. So much for that lesson.
Second American: Right out the window, Boss.
Allah: Ohhh, another martyrdom. Many thousand pardons to you My Sons. These people who invoke My Name in such stupidity shall not go unpunished. I shall pass My judgement on these murderers immediately.
First American: Whatcha gonna do, Boss.
Second American: Yeah... what are You gonna do?
Allah: Welcome you to My paradise.
First American: Wait a sec... aren't You gonna punish these fuckers... er, excuse the language, Lord.
Second American: Aren't You gonna turn them into pillars of salt or kill their firstborn or something like that.
Allah: But isn't living well the best revenge? Enjoy your Virgins.

OTOH... might as well let the relevant Deity write the last chapter.


No comments: