Some chap in England has ripped off a Washington Post article regarding some fine examples of nascent literature from the minds of Yanqui high school students.
- He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. Joseph Romm, Washington
- Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
- The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. Jennifer Hart, Arlington
- They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y. (Nancy who? - Y2D)
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. Russell Beland, Springfield
There's much more in that link. Like, whatever.