Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Oh, Fuck Off,
Tucker Carlson.

At least he ain't
Michael Crook, thank G-d.
MSNBC's Tucker Carlson thinks that Canada is the "new France".

It's just like saying that polka-dots are the "new blacks": it just doesn't make a lot of sense.

It seems that south of the mythical 49th parallel, the Yanquis are just dissing us, in spite of the fact that after 40 years of "Liberalisation", we are trying to shake off the anti-Yank paranoia.

Now, I'm quite sure that Brother Tucker is a sensible human being and not a frothing at the mouth moonbat. But I do take umbrage at this quote.
Last week, MSNBC host Tucker Carlson told his audience Canada "is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving."

"He's nice, but you don't take him seriously."

And that was just one of the famously right-wing political pundit's rants.

"Anybody with any ambition at all, or intelligence, has left Canada and is now living in New York," he told his audience, insisting it was pointless to tell Canada not to criticize the United States.

"It only eggs them on. Canada is essentially a stalker, stalking the United States, right? Canada has little pictures of us in its bedroom, right?"

"It's unrequited love between Canada and the United States. We, meanwhile, don't even know Canada's name. We pay no attention at all," he said.
How retarded do you think this country is, Brother Tucker?

Let's see... you Yanks became a country in 1776, right.

We came into being - officially - in 1867. A difference of 91 years.

So you might say that in 91 years, we might be a prosperous beacon of conservative democracy.

And yes, living as your neighbour and being a sibling by virtue of a common parentage (Great Britain, just to let you know), we just love to prove ourselves by fighting above our weight-class. Unlike France, we do have a good amount of independance to be creative in our combative skills.

Yes, sometimes our leaders try to play onto our fears of being an American vassal state - no thanks to your MSM, which seems hell-bent on portraying your own country as a cesspool of vice and corruption. Yet these are those amongst us who have no fears of the USA, even though we are proud of our easy access to the basic health care needs (provided that we can still afford it).

Anyways - to make it short - if you Yanquis want to make fun of us, go right ahead. Bring it on, Mother Tucker. We can take it in just as much as we can dish out stuff about you. You can make fun of our socialistic tendancies as much as we can make fun of your flag-waving, Mom-and-apple pie, Stars-and-Stripes, big-business, whoo-ah attitude, combined with your inherant inability to pronounce the last of the alphabet properly and to spell simple words like "theatre" and "neighbour", and the fact that your beer is considered tap-water to us diehard Hosers.

After all, we are all Family, right?

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